Wrong Girl

Chapter Four

 

Zack

I can't believe I just did that. What the fuck was I thinking? What the hell was going through my mind? I know I've had a bit to drink but I'm nowhere near drunk and certainly can't blame it on the small amount of alcohol I've consumed tonight.

Rachel and I went out with my parents as planned and the evening was a great success. My mum and dad fell in love with Rach as soon as they met her and I can't say I blame them. We went to my family's favourite restaurant and spent most of the night talking about how Rachel and I met and the wedding.

I honestly did not realise the amount of organisation and planning that's involved when it comes to organising a wedding. It's completely overwhelming and I seriously found myself questioning why the hell we didn't decide on eloping instead. We could be married right now, we could have had the ceremony on an exotic beach somewhere thousands of miles away from here. Thousands of miles away from her.

My thoughts never strayed far from Samantha throughout the entire meal with my parents. I tried to take part in the conversation the three of them were having but could feel my phone burning a hole right through my pocket the whole time. It was tormenting me with the knowledge that her number was inside it, taunting me with the idea of being able to get in touch with her.

I know what I did was wrong. I can't even begin to try and explain myself because it's inexcusable. I really don't know what I was playing at and can't believe I sunk to the darkest depths of despair. It was devious, immoral and completely out of character for me to do something so sneaky. I'm at a loss when it comes to clarifying my actions, I had Sam's phone in my hands and felt the inexplicable need to put my details in there. I wanted her number as well but knew I didn't have the time to exchange both. I actually considered asking Samantha for it outright but realised how weird that might appear to her. I did think about asking Rachel for it but then decided that would only arouse her suspicion. She'd quiz me about it and I'd have no reasonable explanation to present to her. How could I explain why I wanted her sister's number in my phone?

I suppose that's what lead me to do it. I felt like I was in a hopeless situation and had no other choice. I didn't allow myself to really think about it, I just acted. I put my name and number in her phone before handing it back to her and later on that night, I secretly managed to get a hold of Rachel's phone at one point when she was out of the room and got her sister's contact details from it.

I know how loathsome it is and I know how despicable that makes me. I'm a weak and pathetic human being who doesn't even deserve the stunningly gorgeous girl I'm engaged to. I was sat across from her at the restaurant, watching her laughing and joking with my parents. She looked breathtakingly beautiful in the black dress she was wearing, so elegant and charming. I couldn't understand how everything changed so quickly, how my whole world could be turned upside down in the space of twenty-four hours.

My gaze kept on gravitating towards her finger, the one that wore the ring I gave her. I was absolutely bewildered and perplexed by my own thoughts and feelings. My dazzling fiancé was right in front of me, captivating everyone around her and I was sitting there, hardly speaking and finding it absolutely impossible to think of anything else but Sam. She was in my head, overriding every single thought that invaded my mind. I was really anxious to get back home, I really wanted to be alone so I could stop with all the pretence and get away from the hectic noise in the restaurant. As terrible as it sounds, I wanted to be alone so I could at least think about the possibility of calling her.

I was hoping I could at least drop Rachel home without any drama or confrontation with her. She wanted me to stay with her at her mum's house and practically begged me to go back there with her to spend the night. I knew I was seriously running out of reasons for us to keep on sleeping apart and it was really difficult trying to explain to her why I had decided to stay with my parents again.