DIARY OF A SPEECHLESS SOUL

OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE

Shamshad begum heard Azra Bibi's younger daughter whispering something in a careful manner. To ignore her annoying conversations, she stood up in a slow pace and made her way to the main gate. To her disappointment, some middle-aged men were blocking the path unaware of their surroundings. The mourning and tearful facial expressions were making them very miserable with such tough physique. Maybe it was natural to feel so much depressed when your mother dies all of the sudden. But why this lady was not ready to accept their gestures and constantly abhorring every act they all did.

Who was she to question their feelings for the deceased when she was not even the part of their family but an old friend? Doesn't she has a heart or is it her bitterness for lower class? It's hard for a stranger to tell from her sober dressing and the elegant face she had even in her 70s.

"Do you need something Khala?"

One of Azra Bibi's sons approached her but instead of replying back, she just ignored the question and made her way to the veranda. She stood near Azra's dead body that was kept right in the center between mourning women and children who have no idea what's happening.

She was observing something in Azra's face that was carefully secured with white shroud and garland of roses when a loathsome voice disrupted her thoughts with a powerful shriek. It was none other than a distant relative who first fell upon Azra's body and then ran towards her daughters to condole the loss.

"Amma left us Baji...she's no more" One of the daughters broke down in tears after uttering these words.

If she loved her mother so much then where was she when the poor soul was struggling with pain? Or is this all a blunder...a mere act to show everyone how much they cared for their mother?

Such questions were constantly emerging like water bubbles in Shamshad Bibi's mind. When couldn't control herself, she stood up and pushed one of Azra's daughters away from her dead body and dragged the other one with all the force she had.

"Enough with your melodrama and the lame picture you people are trying to represent in front of your relatives. If you cared about your mother that much then where were you last night when she breathed for the last time in my arms? If she was so much dear to you then why did she live as a tenant in my house and longed for your care all the time? If you people didn't care about her when she was alive, you don't need to arrange for her funeral. I have enough money to bear all the expenses to bury my dearest friend so just go...go away to your homes, your so called life and wait till your time comes and your children would leave you alone in a dark room to meet your Creator. Mark my words, you..."

A gentle shook brought her back into reality before she could complete the sentence in her imaginations. The lady told her to clear the way as it was the time when Azra would leave this world for good and rest in her grave till the Judgement Day. She looked around her with uncertain facial expressions and felt disappointment when found Azra's daughters standing at one corner. What was more depressing was to witness them gaining everyone's sympathy with their tearful face and sorrowful screams. With a cold sigh, she stood up to clear the way for some men who were waiting to lift the body up and complete the last rituals of funeral. When the procession disappeared from Shamshad's sight, she slowly walked to the door to have a glimpse of her friend's funeral.

"Thank you Khala for taking care of Amma. You're such a true friend of her." Azra's daughter in law spoke from behind and turned back to address rest of the ladies. "Kindly do not leave without eating, we've arranged for food at my house that's not far from here."

"I've arranged for the food Bibi, don't bother yourself" Shamshad turned slowly to face the lady and rest of the crowd "Your mother in law saved some amount to bear her funeral expenses."
"But Khala...we're her family, it is our duty..." before she could continue, Shamshad raised her hand abruptly to stop her. "Huh...I know who you are and what is your duty, save it for some other time." With that saying, she made her way to kitchen to call the maid to serve the food.

Feeling humiliated and helpless, Asma stood still when a woman from relatives approached her in a sympathetic manner.

"Who is she? Is she from family as I did not recognize her?" This sudden question changed humiliation and helplessness into concerns and worries when Asma's eyes spotted the woman's curious face.

"She...she...she's one of Amma's old friend. Co...come, let's eat something Baji." Asma's confused tone flamed suspicion and concerns.

"Khala Azra didn't live with you Baji Asma?" Another lady sparked a restless feeling with this question when Asma turned to see who she was?

"She...she..." She was struggling with right set of words to cover things up but failed badly.

"So did she move to Waseem's? Is this his house?" Another lady from relatives expressed her concerns with this question that made Asma too much nervous.

"Baji...first finish your food, we should not speak while we're eating." Azra's younger daughter spoke from another corner to cover up her sister in law.

In the meantime, Shamshad begum returned from the kitchen to see if everything is going according to arrangement when she found Asma and Sakina surrounded with such difficult questions. At first, she analyzed the situation but when different questions started to appear, she took charge of the situation and disrupted every concern from the crowd.

"Listen you all, Azra wanted to spend some time at my place but destiny had some other plans for her. It is nothing like you all are thinking so just focus on your meal and pray for the deceased."

By saying so, she ignored Azra's family altogether and continued to serve all the guests like nothing has happened. After the meal was served and everyone ate enough food, all the ladies took Shamshad's permission to leave the house except Azra's family.

"The funeral has end, you all may go to your home now." Her voice was so firm that no one could dare to speak with her at first. But with shivering lips and little bit of courage, it was Bano, Azra's elder daughter, who uttered few words in low tone.

"Aren't you angry with us Khala? Then why..." when she was halfway from completing the sentence, Shamdshad turned back to face them all and started to speak.

"I took your side not because I have soft corner for you all. It was purely for Azra and I did not want to let anyone raise questions on her miserable life. She has suffered a lot in her life and I don't want to reveal those hardships and longings she had been through. You left her long ago and I think you did right. You taught your children about how they should treat you when all of you would reach the age where one needs family support, care and respect. Your mother was a respected woman but unfortunate to have such children like you all."

"Khala but..." Waseem, Azra's younger son, tried to say something but Shamshad's fearful gaze stopped him right where he was standing.

"Your mother found her final home to rest. I'll send her belongings to your house if you want. Now please vacate my house from your existence before my own family adopts your habits. And do me a favor by never showing up again ever."