Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 19

"No, I can see you're hurting, and I want to be here for you."

"You left Wissam for me?" Guilt coursed through my veins. This whole thing was pretty damn selfish.

"Yeah, but it's okay. We were just watching a movie."

"Janet, I'm sorry. I know you haven't seen him in a long time."

"But I haven't been here for you like this in an even longer time. Don't worry about it, Toni. Truly. He understands."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's going on?"

"Eventually."

"I'll be here when you're ready. Have you eaten anything today?"

"No, and I'm not hungry."

"It's nearly 5, Ton. That's not healthy."

That made two things that weren't healthy.

"I will soon. Don't worry."

"Okay."

That was the extent of the conversation. I didn't have a whole lot to say, as long as I wasn't telling her how I felt. Janet  finally beaconed me to her lap where she played in my hair in complete silence. It was harmless, innocent. I wanted to doze off, but I was afraid of what I would see when I began to dream. I would probably admit something that I wasn't ready for her to know in my sleep.

"Wissam says he wants to meet you." Janet said, gently breaking our silence. Her voice was so sweet that it nearly blended into the atmosphere.

"He did?"

"Yes."

I didn't really know how to feel about it. But anything other than, 'I would love to meet him' would have been rude.

"I'd love to meet him."

"You would?"

"Yes."

More silence. It was never this hard for me to hold a conversation, especially not with Janet. I was so tense and I couldn't let my guard down for anything in the world. Maybe sleeping would be the better option, just to get out of any active engagement. All of a sudden, an unexplained chill ripped through me.

"You feel warm, Toni." Janet rested her hand on my forehead. At that particular moment, a hot flash swooped across my body. Maybe that's why my dreams felt more like hallucinations earlier, and why I couldn't eat. I wasn't completely insane. Just sick. On top of trying to finish this album, my mind had been so consumed with her that I didn't even pay attention to myself. It was taking its toll.

Janet's concern increased as I closed my eyes.

"I'm okay, Jan. Really."

"You're not. I'm staying the night. You need me. Come on, get under the blankets."

"What's Wissam going to think when you don't come home tonight?"

"Toni, don't worry about it! Are you achy? Let me give you a massage."

I just looked at her. Lord knows I wanted her to touch me, and she was really trying my patience with all of this.

"Turn over!" She demanded once more. I did as I was told and flipped onto my stomach. I wasn't going to lie, I was tense. It's what I needed.

"Jan, why are you doing this?" I groaned while she waited for me to get situated.

"Because, I can't have you all sick before we even get a chance to hit the club before I leave again! And you deserve this, Toni. You have a lot going on."