Supermartian One-Shots

No One I Hate More

He shot a death glare right at Jaime and Bart, who stopped laughing when they saw the look in his eyes. "Gentlemen, write this down. There is not, nor will there ever be, another person in existence that I loathe and despise more than Katherine Aurora Luthor and Marie Elizabeth Kent."

Two Years Later

"Happy Thanksgiving!"  Everyone from the Team, last and present, gathered in the kitchen of Mount Justice for a spectacular Thanksgiving meal, cooked and crafted by M'gann, with a little help from her friends.  La'gaan hated seeing Conner hold M'gann from behind as she carved the turkey, his strong hands lovingly caressing her pregnant stomach.  "I love you.", he whispered to her.

Just then, he felt a splotch of cranberry sauce go splat right on the left side of his face.  He reluctantly opened his eyes.  "Hello, Clark."

Sitting next to his big sister Marie in his high chair was little Clark, who was barely two years old.  His mommy had dressed him in a pilgrim onesie that she had bought just him just for the occasion.  "Hi, Aunt Wa'gaan!"  La'gaan's frown became stronger as snickers were exchanged around the table.

Katie leaned in towards him. "La'gaan, remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure.", she whispered. "Conner told him to do that!", La'gaan hissed. "On purpose!" He glared right at the baby boy, who was giggling in return. He wiped the fruit-flavored gelatinous substance from his face and sneered.

"Dinner is served!" At once, everyone began passing around dishes, filled and piled with soft mashed potatoes, steaming hot vegetables, and seducing-smelling meats. Bart looked down the table. "Could somebody pass the yams?" Katie watched as her six-year-old niece reached for the bowl of sweet orange mush. "Marie, honey, let me help you with that." "No!", Marie yelled. "I wanna do it! I'm a big girl!"

She lifted it and held it out to her right with trembling arms. The only person sitting between her and La'gaan was Clark. As La'gaan reached out to relive Marie of her weight, Clark swung his legs out. "Wheeeeeeee!" His foot hit the bottom of the dish, his Kryptonian strength sending it flying upwards, doing a triple flip in midair—

—Before landing right on La'gaan's head. Almost everyone sitting at the table burst out laughing as the orangey mush dripped down his fishy face and onto his new shirt that he had just bought and pressed. He turned his head sharply to the right. Katie and Marie were staring at him in horror and embarrassment. Even Clark had stopped smiling. "Oopsies."

He looked at Bart and Jaime, who were still recovering from their massive case of the giggles. "Remember this, boys.", he said. "There is not, nor will there ever be, anyone else in existence that I loathe and despise more than Katherine Aurora Luthor, Marie Elizabeth Kent, or Clark J'onnathan Kent."

One Year Later

La'gaan popped a bit of sushi into his mouth as he glared all the way at the other side of the room.  Everyone was fawning over the small cradle in the front of the room, which contained the newest member of the Kent family, baby Martin.  The League was throwing this party in his honor.

La'gaan hadn't wanted to come to the party, but Katie and Marie had dragged him here.  All he could find to do here was eat hor'duerves and sneer at the people making a fuss over the new baby.

He grabbed a few finger sandwiches and shoved them into his mouth.  "Hi, La'gaan!"  He looked up to see Katie standing in front of him, Marie standing at her right, and Clark standing at her left. Swaddled in a pale yellow fleece blanket and snuggled in his Aunt Katie's arms was little Martin, barely three months old. She sat down next to La'gaan. "You wanna hold him?" "No."

She held the baby out towards him anyway. "Careful. Support his head." La'gaan felt his nerves go through the roof as the baby settled in his arms. He had never held one of M'gann's kids before. He had never even touched Marie and Clark when they were babies. He looked down at Martin, who was stirred awake and looking at La'gaan with the big brown eyes he had inherited from his mommy.

The smallest of smiles crept onto La'gaan's face.  "I guess he's...kinda cute."  Just then, Martin's face scrunched up into a funny expression.  Marie and Clark frowned.  "Uh, oh.", Clark said.  "That's the face he makes right before he—"

BLARGH!

La'gaan opened her eyes, the smell of bananas and mushed apples wafting from the goop covering his face.  Everybody in the room was staring at them.  Katie looked shocked and horrified at the same time.  Marie was stunned, her little mouth shaped into an O.  Clark was biting his lip, trying hard not to laugh.

Suddenly, snickers and soft laughs filled the room.  "This is so adorable!", M'gann exclaimed.  "Conner!  Take a picture!"  Raising his new camera in front of his face, Conner quickly snapped a few photos of La'gaan holding Martin, baby barf all over his face.

The humiliated Atlantean looked at Jaime and Bart, who were snickering hard, trying their best not to burst into howls of laughter.  "I am telling you guys, right here, right now.", he said to them.  "There is not, nor will there ever be, any other people in existence that I loathe and despise more than Katherine Aurora Luthor, Marie Elizabeth Kent, Clark J'onnathan Kent, or Martin Morse Kent."

La'gaan handed Martin off back to Katie and stormed off to the washroom to clean himself up. "Sure there isn't.", Jaime muttered to Bart. "At least until Conner and Megan have another kid."

Happy Thanksgiving!