chasing love ;; cth

Chapter 31

"Because you still love him," His voice is soft, as I feel him lay down on top of my feet at the end of the bed.

"You're kidding me right?" I let out an uncomfortable laugh, abruptly sitting up and pulling my feet out from underneath him. 

"I know you are gonna hate me for bringing this up. But you did tell me that you liked him 14 years. You said the only people you ever told were me and your friend Elliana, who from what you told me, seems really irritating."

"She was kind of irritating now that I think about it, but you're right I did tell you I liked him for 14 years. Emphasis on the 'LIKED' part," I remind him, moving next to him on the edge of the bed.

He glances at me, his eye sincere and gentle, "Can you honestly tell me that after 14 years of staring at him during class, and treasuring every little word he's ever said to you, and fantasizing about a future for you and him, together, that all your feelings for him can just vanish? That 14 years of being madly in love with him, ended up being all for nothing?" 

"I mean, it wasn't all for nothing, but after 14 years I ended up with heartbreak. I mean out of everything I've been through. My father leaving us when I was 5, my grandmother passing away when I was 3, I've never felt so hurt and alone as I did the night after prom. I don't want to go through that again." My voice is soft, as I think what he has said over thoroughly. I care a lot about Calum. 14 years of being head over heels in love with Calum Hood can't be all for nothing, can it?

"It wouldn't be a relationship if you didn't have heartbreak at one point or another along the way. A relationship where you're always happy, and never fighting would be boring," He moves his hands energetically, for some reason getting really worked up about the topic, "The great relationships are the ones where you stay up late fighting and then make up the next morning. At times you act like you can't stand each other, but deep inside you know that you know you'll always love each other. You'd be willing to take risks for each other and wouldn't be afraid to act like complete idiots together because everyone is weird in their own way and you accept that fact. I know you want to appear like the perfect couple with the no drama, and well congrats because you've achieved that by being with Adam. From how it appears your relationship is a snooze fest and also he's a jerk to everyone except you. The point is, the great loves are the complicated ones. Sometimes the road is bumpy and other times it's smooth sailing. You never know what is going to happen next but you keep traveling down the road because ultimately you're in love and well, love can make you do crazy things."

"We've watched way too many romantic comedies this weekend," I giggle, nudging him in the shoulder, "But that was very insightful. And you're right. I'd do anything for Calum. And if that means letting him be happy with someone else even though it kills me inside, then so be it. I'm happy with Adam for now and he seems to be happy with Sadie, I don't want to ruin that for him,"

"You have a good heart," He smiles widely, before getting up from the bed and sliding on his old, worn out nikes, "I'm gonna go help my roommate,"

"And I'm gonna sleep," I call to him as he makes his way to the door, before I crawl back underneath the covers.

"Alright." He chuckles, opening the door, "I'll call you later," I hear him say, but by that time I was all ready half-asleep

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My eyes drift open, when I hear obnoxiously loud pounding on the door. I look at my phone and the time reads 6:00. I guess Susan forgot her key again and lost her patience. I knew I wanted to take a nap, but I didn't mean to pass out for 4 hours. I slide my feet over the side of a bed and don't even bother trying to fix the huge tangled mess my hair is now thanks to Ashton. I lazily make my way to the door, practically tripping over my feet every two steps. I grip the handle and yank it open, revealing the last person I accepted to see.