Bear Grylls is a man's man

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"How gross!" Rudhra exclaimed, and covered his mouth with both his hands.

"This is natural science, dude , natural science. Idiots like you won't get it."

"What's so scientific about eating a snake? This guy creeps me out so much!" He exclaimed.

"He is not creepy. He is a genius. You are just jealous of him." I said.

"Why would I be jealous of a forty year old man who drinks deer blood?" He asked me.

"Because he is a bold and a courageous person, who has no fear, while you are just a slob. Yesterday you passed out on the floor, today you forgot your keys, and I probably won't be surprised if you accidentally set your flat on fire tomorrow. He seems the opposite. No offense, he is a man's man." I said, an epic insult to him.

"No he isn't." Rudhra said.

"Yes. He is."

"Whatever!" He said suddenly, after a few moments of silence. "I am so done with being judged by you and everyone!"

"Yo, yo. It's just you are too stupid, that it's hard not to judge you." I said. This guy brought out the inner cruelty mode in me.

He stood up stoically as he heard this, in a way it was very comical. "If only, you cared enough to know the real me, and the reason why I am like this now, you wouldn't be harsh. But I can't expect anything from people like you."

The way he said it made my heart skip a beat. Perhaps I'd been too harsh on him. Like, he was a slob, there was no denying it. If you put a gun to my head I'd still feel the same way. But had I been too harsh in saying it out loud to him?

Perhaps I too needed to change myself. I was such a bully.

"So, tell me. What's your story? I won't judge you, no matter what it is." I told him softly.

He hugged the sofa pillow and looked dejected for a moment. I had the an urge to pat his head, but I shook it off.

"I was always dyslexic. I performed poorly in school and a lot of people made fun of me. My parents were always busy. They have a lot of money, but they never had time for me. I had many nurses and maids to look after me, but not my parents. I was really pampered and I didn't even know it." He said.

"Oh!" I said, not knowing what to say.

"One day, I had enough. I wanted to explore the reality of life by myself, and earn my own money. My parents were vehemently against it. They said that I wasn't capable enough to survive .But I am steadfast. I really want to explore the real world and survive on my own."

"Wow. I am sure you will." I said, and patted his shoulder softly. He was really impressive. Of course someone like him would have difficulties adjusting to normal life.

"I hope so. But suddenly, you come and judge me like that! Without caring to know me!" He exclaimed.

"Umm. Sorry about that." I said awkwardly.

"And you make fun of the fact that I can't handle things." He continued.

"I won't, again. I-I will teach you." I said.

"What?" He asked, surprised.

"I'll teach you how to live by yourself, without depending on others!" I said.

"Really?" He beamed. "From all the basic stuff like sweeping the floor, doing the dishes and such?"

"Everything." I said. Now that I was jobless, I had a lot of free time. Perhaps it could be called as social service, and god would know what a nice person I was, and send me to heaven when I died.

And in the few hours that followed, I taught him everything I could think of. Like how to sweep the floor, how to hang wet clothes in the foyer, how to arrange utensils in the kitchen, how to tidy the room, and so on. I really turned the house upside down and made it normal again to teach him. He looked like he was captivated.

"That's it for today, I guess." I said, wiping the sweat off my face.

"I think so too." He agreed. His stomach grumbled suddenly.

"You hungry?" I asked him.

"I guess, a little. But you seem pretty tired." He said.

"No problem. I am hungry too. I'll make a nice lunch to celebrate the beginning of your new life." I said.

"Really?" He beamed. And with that he plopped himself on the sofa.

I made briyani for the two of us, and I felt so tired. He didn't even offer to help me when I cooked. I guessed he didn't know that he had to do such a thing. The next class would be - learning politeness. With that he'd be a civilised man, fit for today's society. And my 'good person' meter would also shoot up.

"You are a really good cook. This is delicious." He gushed, and all the tiredness I'd felt, vanished away.

After sometime I made mango yogurt , and he ate it with much gusto. When someone appreciates your food, all the effort is worth it.

"Thank you, for today. I better get going then. See you tomorrow." He said to me, shaking my hand.

"No problem. Have a nice day!" I said, feeling happy.

I opened the door, and he went out, giving a smile. With a newly found cheerfulness, I turned towards my living room.

I stopped when I realised something. Didn't he say that he forgot his keys or something. And that his aunt would come and give him the spare ones? No one had come, so how would he be able to enter?

I looked in horror as he pulled out the keys from his pant pockets and began unlocking his door as if it had been there with him all the while.

Because it had been.

He saw my horrified face and a wide devilish grin spread on his face. He swung his keys tauntingly at me.

"That's how you lounge off in someone's home. And that's how you get yourself a nice free lunch." He said.

This bastard! I had been such a fool! Only an idiot would have believed his stupid sob story, and I had! And I didn't even want to begin to think all the things I'd done. How embarrassing!

"And that's how you keep an idiot occupied." He continued.

"You devil! You horrible -" I said, but words failed me, that was how dumbfounded I was.

"I-I'll teach you." He mimicked me.

"Why?" I asked him. Why did you troll me like this?

"As revenge for the deflating my face with the plant, and slamming the door on me yesterday."

I didn't know what to say, so I said the lamest comeback ever. "Who cares, I poisoned your food."

"Its barbaric taste must have nullified it." He said and grinned at me, and slammed the door to my face.

Did I finally meet my match?



A/N:Please comment and vote if you liked it!

What do you think of Rudhra?

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