TMI (2014 Collector's Dream Winner)

TMI - Chapter 43

“One night, when they thought I was asleep, my parents had a horrible argument. He’d been out late and when he came home, it was without the car. He’d lost it in a card game. Mom screamed at him that he had to grow up, he had a child now. Dad screamed right back that he’d never wanted a kid in the first place. That it had been her idea to keep me instead of getting an abortion like he wanted.”

The heart in her chest had cracked that day and she didn’t even know what an abortion was.

“The next day, he picked me up. I went running up to him like I always did. He didn’t say anything. He just took me home, carried me all the way upstairs to his room. He opened the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out this big black thing.”

She shut her eyes and covered her ears, but the sound was etched too deeply in her memory not to hear.

“I never saw a gun before and didn’t know I should have been scared. He took me into the bathroom, sat me on the edge of the tub and told me he loved me so much — more than he ever imagined he could. That made me happy. But then, he admitted he’d never wanted to have kids and was so mad at my mom for keeping me. He said she made her choice and it was time he made his. He put me down and right before he told me to get out, he made me promise to stick to the plan. I was scared so I ran. When I heard the shot, I stopped and went back. There was so much blood.”

She shivered and ran her hands up and down her arms. “I don’t remember much after that. Mom came home and found us and we had to leave for a few days. When we got back, the bathroom was clean but I still know where every drop of blood was.

“He left us deeply in debt. I didn’t know how bad it was until I started hearing my mother cry every night when she thought I was sleeping. I’d sneak down the stairs and hear her on the phone with bill collectors begging them for help, but it never worked. She got a job, then another, and even a third. I spent all day in school, then in an after-school program and then, with various neighbors until bed time. Some days, I even had breakfast with the neighbors. She told me she loved me all the time, but when I found their wedding video, I knew she was lying, too.

“I watched it every day, as many times as I could. My father was so handsome and mom was so beautiful, she looked like a Disney princess. Dad was laughing and Mom had shiny hair and sparkles in her eyes. I never saw them like that. I watched them put rings on each other’s fingers and make promises and dance and laugh and kiss. They were so—” A fresh wave of despair crushed her. “Oh, God, they were happy and I ruined it.”

She stopped talking when the door opened. A secretary walked over to Mr. Poynter and whispered in his ear. He shut his eyes in relief and then motioned to Detective Barilla. They moved to the window and had a brief whispered conversation. Megan curled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them. It was funny — now that she’d started talking, she had to finish the story. She needed to finish the story. As soon as the secretary shut the door, she did.

“A year later, Chase’s family moved to our block. I think I fell in love with him on the school playground. He has magic eyes. But I couldn’t let him love me. I killed my dad, I’m slowly killing my mom. I don’t want that to happen to Chase. So I paint him. That way, I can still be with him. Bailey’s the only one who knows this — any of this. I was in the middle of a big oil painting the day I sliced my hand open. I just… worked through it.”

Detective Barilla blew out a slow breath. “Okay, Megan. Okay.” She stood up, closed the laptop. “You can go.”

Meg blinked. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” the detective echoed.

Meg felt the old familiar pain claw through her gut, swallowed it down, and rose on shaky knees.

Oh, sure. That’s it.

“Meg.” Pauline’s tired eyes were red and filled with tears. Oh, God, she’d heard. She’d heard every word. Meg flung herself into her mother’s arms.

“Let’s get you home.” Her mother put an arm around her, led her to the exit.

“Megan.”

She froze at the sound of Chase’s voice.

No. No more. She couldn’t bear any more. But she looked up anyway. At least this time, there was no stupid smile. That was some consolation.

“Mr. Gallagher? Why don’t you come in and tell us where you’ve been all night?” Detective Barilla said.

Chase ignored her and spoke directly to Meg. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please believe me, Megan.”

She wanted to. She wanted to so badly, it hurt but she didn’t — couldn’t — not completely.

And he knew it.