Life Revamped

Chapter 25 - Fury

Six Months Later…

I found myself laid up with my feet elevated.  I was now in my thirty-eighth week and I felt like a beached whale.  Despite Christian’s daily dose of compliments and his physical displays of loving affection in the bedroom, I would never quite agree with his visualization of me.  I knew it was all hormones and I was no longer thinking clearly.  Oh the joys!  I’m happy to report that everything, up until now has gone great with the pregnancy.  The baby was quite active and both Christian and Aiden loved it.  The best part of my day was sitting in bed, like I was now, where Christian would rub some vitamin E oil over my belly and talk to the baby.  Flutter Bug, as we had named the baby, not knowing what gender it was, loved the sound of their Daddy’s voice; or so it seemed.  Every time Christian would speak, the baby would entertain him with somersaults and kicks.  Aiden loved it too.  It made it more realistic for him as well.  Now a five year old, his bedtime stories have evolved from us telling him the stories to him telling my belly stories.  And therefore, every night, we’d get together in Chris’ and my bed and tell my belly all sorts of wonderful crazy stories.

It was Wednesday morning and Christian had had a rough beginning to his week.  One of his buildings had burned down, causing much grief for him from a legal and insurance standpoint.  The fire had been deemed accidentally caused by one of the tenants who had left a pot of vegetable cooking oil on his stove and forgot to turn it off.  Unfortunately, it was mid-day and by the time the smoke had been seen, the building had been engulfed and all twelve tenants found themselves without a home.  I knew he was stressed with all of this and making sure ends were met so that he could stay home and be with me and the baby but I simply couldn’t help but be disappointed when he had told me that he couldn’t come to today’s doctor’s appointment with me.  I had been seeing my OB/GYN once a week since last month and he hasn’t been able to come with me at all.  I understood that it was simply part of the job to sometimes be called in at the last minute but what I didn’t understand was why these people couldn’t wait half an hour so I could have my fiancé by my side.  Every week, I was in there by myself and every week, I was terrified that my good news would change to bad; I hated not having him there with me for support.  Today seemed to have been one of my more irritable days thus far.  I don’t know what possessed me to say something this time around.

“I can’t believe that once again, your job takes precedence over this family.”  I said softly, after he had announced that he wasn’t going to be able to make it to today’s appointment.

“It’s not like I have a choice, Mia.”  He tried to explain and I knew that he was on the verge of losing it.  As bad as I felt for him, I couldn’t help but feel selfish and somehow, deep within me, I thought that I deserved that at the very least.  Sure, I was told I was beautiful by him every day; we had our family time at night with Aiden telling bedtime stories to my belly and then on some evenings, when I felt good enough about my body image, I would let Chris show me how much he loved me but it wasn’t enough for me, all of a sudden.

“I’m sure whatever it is, it could wait for a half and hour at the doctor’s office.”  I tell him, this time, with a harsher tone.  I turned away from him and stood, holding onto the counter by the sink, fighting the tears that were slowly building in my eyes.

“Angel.”  He says and I feel him standing directly behind me.

“Don’t Angel me!”  I turned and snapped at him.  “What if I get bad news? What if something happens?  Where am I going to be if you’re not there with me?  You were the one that said that we were in this together!  What happened to that?”  No longer able to contain my tears, I let them fall as I stood there, facing him, my head turned away.