As Far Away as Yesterday | ✔

♢the park♢

I rubbed my cheek. I knew it was going to be one hella bruise tomorrow.

"Joe, you have a match tonight. You better be fucking ready," Dad said dangerously low before exiting the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and wondered what every man had to go through before ever being considered good enough, and not a "sissy". It wasn't a question for myself, it was a question for my old man.

♢

I was avoiding home and therapy altogether. I'd rather stare at squirrels running up trees all freaking day, than having to be asked uncomfortable questions.

Aaron nor Mom had texted me...yet. But I knew it wouldn't be long.

I sat on the park bench, and after watching squirrels do their thing, I sort of took a nap. The weather was starting to get a little chilly, so I had to zip up the zipper to my jacket.

I started to settle into the nap. My eyes were closed and my mind was blank. I'd sort of dozed off when for some reason I felt like a presence was in front of me. Maybe I was delirious.

Soon, I found myself not being able to take a nap. I started thinking about things that brought me back to the past.

When I opened my eyes I was staring into blue ones. There was curiosity in them.

I rubbed my eyes a bit more, and soon realized I was face to face with a girl I didn't know. She had freckles, shoulder length brown hair, and she wore a red houndstooth scarf.

She was frowning.

"What are you doing here?" She asked bitterly. "You're in my place of solitude. I'd like for you to leave."

I frowned. Was this girl serious? What the hell did I ever do to her?

"Um, this place is open to the public."

She scoffed at me and crossed her arms. "But still. No one comes here to the park in the afternoon. It's usually desolate."

I gave her a smug look. "You're being ridiculous. I have every right to come to the park just like you have every right. It's not reserved or whatever."

She gave me the stank eye, then she walked away shaking her head.

♢

I thought better of trying to avoid home and thereby both, the girl at the park had rubbed me the wrong way anyway, and besides, I was hungry.

Immediately when I got home I heated me up a bean burrito from the freezer, and turned on the TV in the living room.

The only thing on right now was the news or some tv show I had watched when in Pre-K.

I ate the pitiful bean burrito in one bite. After, I walked to my room to take my nap.

♢

"Joey."

"Joey..."

"Joey!"

I opened my eyes and sat up in bed in one quick motion. "What the fuck?"

"Watch your mouth," Mom said.

I looked at Mom, and saw that she didn't look too impressed. Her arms were crossed.

"Why did you ditch school?" She asked me. "The principal called."

I shrugged, and didn't make eye contact with Mom. She wouldn't understand, like Dad didn't understand.

"Joe, don't do this to me," she said with a sigh. "Why'd you leave school like that?"

I stared at the wall and thought of things I would've been doing right now if I still lived with Dad. He'd probably be pushing me hard. No, I'd probably be at wrestling practice or hanging with Mike and some others.

I felt myself longing for the normalcy of popularity and friends. But let's face the facts friend, I'd been more miserable than I was now.

"Joey, are you listening?" Mom asked. "Why'd you skip?"

"Because I felt like it."

I put my comforter over me.

"That's not a good enough excuse."

"I wasn't trying for one."

"Joe, talk to me!" Mom yelled. She didn't yell the same way Dad did. I would say her yell was less itimidating, and had less of an impact.

I continued to stare at the wall. "You're impossible," she then said. "It's a good thing you, your brother, and I are going to see Lisa today."

I sighed in frustration, but still didn't look at Mom.

As soon as she closed the door and I was alone again, I thought about the girl at the park. Maybe I knew what she meant about the park being her place of solitude, and how she didn't want me there, ruining her time of being alone.

I wish I had a place to go to when I was feeling like shit. You could easily say my bed room was the place I went to, but the problem was, that's where Mom and Aaron knew where to find me.

♢

"Your Mom said you skipped school today," Dr Lisa told me. "Why did you do that?"

She sat across from me in an armchair. There was a clipboard with a piece of paper on her lap.

I shrugged and appeared nonchalant. "Yeah, I did skip. But I have my reasons."

She raised her eyebrow. "Are those reasons ones you'd like to discuss?" She questioned.

"No. They're not important really. Just a bad day is all."

She didn't ask me anymore questions for a couple minutes. I felt as though she were evaluating me like a freaking bug or bacteria under a microscope. "Joey, do you want to try and talk about your dad today?"

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, we can talk about the asshole. I mean, it's not like he's in here somewhere eavesdropping. Like, he can't beat me anymore, right?"

Dr Lisa pursed her lips, and wrote something down. "Did he normally beat you for talking about him?"

"No, not really. But he always told me that if I ever told my mom about him beating me, he'd beat me bad, and he'd beat Mom too."

"Why did he never touch your brother?"

"I don't know. Aaron is book smart I guess, and he wasn't interested in taking up wrestling. And he didn't mind standing up to dad."

"How do you feel thinking that."

"I don't know how to feel."