saving her

fixing

Harry




Silence overcame us as the wind blew sending goosebumps up and down my bare arms. I didn't know what to say or do, but sit there and listen to the birds whistle their obnoxious songs. No cars dared to drive down the road causing it to look vacant.



"What's your name?"



I looked over to the girl who's eyebrows were furrowed as if she was trying to remember if she had seen me before.



"Harry...yours?" I replied smiling.



"Gabriela."



"That's a pretty name." She blushed looking away smiling. I couldn't keep my smile from growing at her innocence as I watched her look flattered.



Silence once again found us causing me to shift uncomfortably. I was always used to it being loud with Louis' jokes and Niall's laughs.


Damn, I miss those boys.



"Are you alright?" her soft voice asked.



"Y-"



"Honestly."



I closed my mouth that had tried to reply untruthfully before she interrupted me. I gulped down the truth that was threatening to spill and tell her everything I felt at that moment: lost, alone, angry, sad.


All the horrible emotions.



"I'm alright," I lied.



"No you aren't," she argued siting up with a deep frown on her plump, pink lips.



Something fluttered inside me as she placed her hand on mine. Maybe it was because she was actually taking the time to act like she cared. Yeah. That's it.



"Come on, Harry." My name sounded so sweet and comforting when it came from her. It made me feel warm inside as if I was actually considering telling her.



You barely know her, Harry. You can't tell her anything. Just get up and leave.



"I have to leave," I blurted out fast. Something flashed in her eyes. Sadness?



"Okay," she said, but it came out like a whisper as she laid back down on the ground.



I looked at her with tears threatening to spill. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted someone to listen. I wanted someone to understand, but no one will.



I felt angry at myself as my feet moved themselves and pushed me up while leading me back to my car.



I can't just leave her there, I argued with my feet and arms as they opened my car door.



Yes you can. She's not your problem.



I shook my head in disagreement as I slammed the door shut and walked back over to her. Her eyes had been shut, but I saw the tears falling down her cheeks silently.



"Are you going home?" I interrupted her silence with annoyance.



"Why are you so angry?" her eyes fluttered open as she asked me her question.



"Are you going home?" I repeated my teeth gritted.



"That's not your problem."



"Goddammit, just answer me!" I yelled stomping my foot like a seven year old.



"Don't yell at me," she snapped siting up her eyebrows furrowed.



"I do what the fuck I want," I snarled crossing my arms over my chest.


"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked her face showing disgust.



I didn't know why my moods changed so quickly, but I was angry at everything. I was angry at myself for being such a fuck-up. I was angry at the boys for wanting me to leave. I was angry at life for being so fucking hard.



"Look, Harry, I don't know what's wrong with you, but please don't yell at me," she asked from me as she stood up while wiping off the invisible dust off the back of her pants.



"It's kind of hard not to when you act like a dumbass bitch."



A quiet gasp came from her causing my eyes to widen in realization. Oh fuck.



"You-"


"No I did-"


"But-"


"I'm-"


"Stop-"


"Please-"


"Just leave me alone."



Her words felt like knives stabbing my heart till it was nothing, but small pieces of flesh and blood. But her eyes, goddammit, the look in her eyes was unbearable. They were so empty and sad, but it was almost as if she already thought she was a dumbass bitch.


But she's not.



"Look-"



"I don't want to hear your bullshit, Harry! Leave me alone, please!" she cried turning her back to me as she wrapped her arms around her stomach.



No. Please look at me, Gabriela. Please.



"Leave, please." Her voice cracked giving me a sign she was about to cry.



Something inside me told me to hug her and never let go. It told me to kiss her head and say I'm sorry repeatedly.
But I don't know her even though it feels like I know her inside and out. I can't just hug her; she'll push away and scream for help. I don't even know why I had to get her angry or sad in the first place. We could have been friends.



Friends? Harry, do you hear yourself right now? You want to be friends with someone you only met minutes ago? You want to be friends with another person who will just leave you in the dust like everyone else? Harry, please, grow up.



I flinched at the voice's questioning and correctness. My eyes watched as Gabriela's shoulders shook as she cried silently and was whispering to herself.



"No," I whispered answering the voice's questions.



Good choice.



I especially couldn't be friends with her because she was broken and I wouldn't be able to fix her.



Why?



Because I'm still trying to figure out how to fix myself.










are you guys alive or


-k