No One Is Perfect

Chapter Eleven

I silently cheered to myself at the little victory I have with staying home. I agree to Quin and for the next three hours I and the boys train hard before they leave for school.

Once everyone left I hopped into the bath again and started to relax my muscles. If I don't do anything for my muscles they'll hurt like a bitch in a few hours. Trust me, I know.

I hadn't noticed how long I've been in the bath until I started to doze off, I quickly got out, pulling the plug and got back into some pyjamas. I lay in bed thinking of the best ways to start my story, it'll be awkward and embarrassing if I say, "I want to tell you about my past." And no one hears me and continues with what they're doing. So, I'm going to try and catch them when they're about to watch T.V and are all in the lounge room.

It's not a long story, I mean people have had worse than me, but most haven't, and this story explains a lot about me. So that's why it's hard to be friends with people and stay friends because they don't get why I get moody at times or why I sometimes don't like to be touched. It's fine to be casually touched but not like full on arms around me, kind of thing.

I've grown out of it, well most of it. I used to be a lot worse; I never talked to anyone for the first year and made sure no one was near me. Now I talk, flirt, have people touch me, you know all the teenagers do. This is exactly what I want. I want to be normal, want to have an easy life, want to have boyfriends and girls to gossip and talk to; I want to be a normal teenage girl.

It helps that the pack isn't normal and that everyone was so nice and friendly, and the fact that they let me have some distance and keeping my personal space.

Soon I start to fall asleep, it's been a while since I've had a good night's sleep, always going to bed around twelve or one and waking up at five, isn't the best rest.

A loud bang woke me up, I shot up in my bed looking around frantically until I realised that it must have come from the lounge room where I can hear voices. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, I'm getting paranoid, I thought while yawning and stretching.

I put my hair in a messy bun then walked to the lounge room, everyone is here and all busy talking amongst themselves. It's going to be hard to get all their attention, maybe I should just talk to Quin?

I walked to Quin who sat on the love seat reading one of the diaries. He looked up at me, his green eyes studying me.

"Did you have some rest?" He asked.

I nodded, "I also had plenty of time to think and," I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, "I want to tell you about my past." I opened my eyes to stare evenly into Quins.

His eyebrows furrowed, "You don't have to tell me, it's certainly not my place to be if you don't feel comfortable."

He's such a nice guy! I smiled at him, "I want to, you're my family, now aren't you? So, you should know why I am like I am." I explained.

Most were listening now, just like I knew they would. I took a long deep breath and started.

"My family was like any other, with a father, mother and me. We were happy, both my parents had their dream jobs and enough money to wildly spend. Until the day my step-father started losing money to younger people in his company. He wasn't happy, he started drinking to late hours of the night and come home to pass out. Then it got worse, he started taking an interest in me like he would my mother. I just turned six and didn't understand anything that was happening."

I took another breath, this was the hard part. It was like I can feel his cold hands and see his harsh, demanding eyes. "He would wait until my mother was asleep before he came into my room and touch me."

Tears threatened to come through, but I shook them away angrily, "Whenever he would I would cry, knowing what he was doing wasn't what normal fathers do to their daughters. He would always tell me that I was beautiful, with so much life and youth. Kids would tease me at school, my step-father bragged about what he does to me to his buddies at the pub. This all continued to when I was eight, my mother found out about what he does and started to drink herself. She got fired because she would turn up late or she would be drunk. But she was strong, so strong."

Tears leaked down my cheeks. "She knew she couldn't stand up to my father, so she would sing to me or tell me stories about my crazy great aunt Jullie. She would stay sober the nights he was gone so she could spend time with me. When my father noticed that I loved her more he started beating us both, saying that he would always be the only one we both loved more."

I drew in a shaky breath, and continued, "For a whole year the same thing happened, that's when my mother suddenly decided that this wasn't the way to live. She called the police and told them that my father was beating us. Step-father over heard and wasn't happy, he immediately turned to me saying that he was going to finish what he started."

I closed my eyes suddenly seeing what was happening. My mother just finished her frantic call when he came in with a cold, angry expression on his cruel face.

He slapped me hard in the face, I didn't cry, I knew better than that. He pulled me to my bed and stripped me, "I'm going to make sure I finish what I started so long ago, so you always remember me." His breath stunk of beer and cigarettes.

Fear ramming though my veins and my heart pounding so hard, my mind was just thinking, he's going to rape me! Even at nine I knew what rape was, I was very aware of it.

Just as soon as he pulled his pants down my mother barged through with a gun in her shaking hands, she looked like an angel. Her dark brown hair cascading down her small body that radiated the anger and her love for me while holding the only thing that can stop this monster.

He simply strode to her, not caring about the gun at all, knowing my mother didn't have it in her to pull the trigger.

He took it off her like he would take a doll off a child and pointed it at her chest, "You're a worthless, drunk whore. You're the reason why I lost my interest in you, you're the reason why I'm not getting my full pay, you're the reason why you're going to die and you're the reason why your daughter is going to as well." he spat at her, words full of hatred and sureness, saying it like he fully believed she was the reason he became this demon.

"Mummy! I love you so much Mummy!" I yelled at her, she smiled weakly at me. She was sober.

"Baby girl, I love you too." She whispered just as my step-father pulled the trigger that ended her life.

The police chose that moment to evade the house and take my father away, but that wasn't the end of the torment.

"One of the policemen was the town gossiper, he thought it would make better gossip if he spiced it up a bit, saying that my step-father and I had a secret relationship and my mother couldn't deal with it and got drunk and saw us and my step-father wanted us to be together forever and saw my mother simply as something that needed to be put away. I punched him until he had a concussion when I was thirteen. Everyone believed it, so I was always the whore at my own home town." I finished, rubbing my temples as I felt the headache start to come through.

Morgan wrapped her arms around me and I didn't flinch.