loving is hard when you can't be public

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hmm is he really why would he lie oh well its worth a shot “um do you think you could umm.. uhh tutor me… please” he looked at me and said “sure why not” I told him that it was getting late and that I better head home he nodded and I kissed him softly on the lips he acted surprised at first then started kissing me back. we were there for about 2 minutes until we had to stop I realized I really had to go and I started my way down the street until I made it to the subway I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss I loved him so much. I want him to be mine I can’t wait to see him on Monday I just wish I didn’t have to leave him there on the park bench I got nervous and panicked

When I got home I couldn’t get the feeling of his lips off mine no matter how hard I tried. My mom asked me what I looked so happy about I said nothing but she wouldn’t stop prodding until she got an answer. I went to bed early that night but I couldn’t sleep I just kept reliving the kiss we had. When I did fall asleep I started dreaming about him. We were having that same picnic we kept having but this time I felt as if he and I were being watched and I looked around and saw Nick standing in front of me. I almost screamed I jolted upright and looked at the clock it was 2.am god I need some sleep I tried but I couldn’t get the picture of Nick out of my mind he had looked like he was about to kill me. God why did this happen I still like Nick but I love Callum and Callum loves me back I just can’t think straight. Just then I blacked out.

I woke up bright lights in my face I must have been asleep for a day because it looked like 7 pm oh my god I missed my teacher interview. I looked around me and I saw nick sitting beside me looking depressed with his arm around Callum who was crying so hard they hadn’t noticed me yet. “Guys you look so sad what happened what day is it?” I said they jumped and Nick told me “it’s Tuesday you were in a coma” “well its ok it was only a day” I said then Callum said “you were in a coma for 2 weeks and a day” oh god was I really I missed that much time with Callum.   

Callum told me “I was so worried about you the doctors said you might not make it they said it was caused by too much stress. I hope I didn’t do this to you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did.” I said “no it wasn’t you it was now that I think about it, it was a dream I had” he sighed with relief I asked him to come a little closer so I could tell him something then when he leaned in I pulled him closer and kissed him. Nick looked away so as to give us some privacy and when I let go of Callum he looked so happy.  I loved him so much when he got back in his chair Nick said “I told you not in front of me please.” We laughed and made kissy face at him just to annoy him.

We are so perfect together at least that’s what I thought. he was perfect beautiful, smart, loving, he stayed by my side when I could’ve died I love how he cares for me. I just can’t say how much I love him. I wanted to at least be at school with him though. But I wasn’t I hope they went easy on him.  

That night the hospital kept me for overnight examination even though my parents wanted me to come home right then and there. I slept fine but I didn’t dream at all that night. I woke up in the morning and saw Callum looking at me the same way I did to Nick while he was at my house. I looked over at him and he said “morning sleepy head how was your sleep” I laughed and then started coughing because I was laughing.He told me I should sleep some more and kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the room. I tried to sleep but it was too hard and my head was pounding. I felt like I was going to black out again but I will not do that to Callum ever again.

We are so perfect together at least that’s what I thought. he was perfect beautiful, smart, loving, he stayed by my side when I could’ve died I love how he cares for me. I just can’t say how much I love him. I wanted to at least be at school with him though. But I wasn’t I hope they went easy on him. I wonder if anyone even noticed that I was gone and did they care. Oh well I only care about one person and I already know he cared.

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