desirous; antisepticeye/jacksepticeye

four

When I open my eyes, I realized I was dreaming.
The dream felt real.
Lanie really is my true love.
When I am with her, I feel calm.
When I am with her, I feel happy.
When I am with her, I feel integral as one.
Cannot be torn apart.
Always stick together.
One.
United by love.
I hear my phone receive a new notification.
It might be who I think it is.
It is showing a new message from Lanie.
She says she needs to talk.
It might be something bad, but I doubt it. I convince myself to doubt it.
She wants me to meet her in the park in a few hours.
I put back my phone on the night stand and go to the bathroom.
I take off my clothes and throw it in the laundry basket.
I turn on the rain shower.
The water is cold, but I feel numb.
I don't know why, it doesn't affect me.
Maybe I am used to the chilliness of the water.
I get my hair shampoo, and I scrub my scalp.
Get all the dandruff out.
Scrub it.
I do it again.
And again.
And again.
I get my body shampoo, and I scrub my body.
Scrub all the dead skins out.
Scrub it out.
I do it again.
And again.
And again.
Wash away all the negativity.
Please.
Be more positive.
I couldn't control the negativity.
I feel the bad thoughts drowning my good thoughts.
I feel like this is going to shatter and I feel scared and my thoughts are making me insane please make it stop I don't want any of this Lanie is all I want and all I have I can't live without please leave me alone I cannot handle this I'm scared I need help.
Help me.
I crouch down onto the floor.
I hear my mind screaming and screaming.
I see water dripping down from above but I can't hear it.
I close my eyes.