I groaned and collapsed into the sofa, tired and impossibly stressed from a long day of classes. My wrist stayed gauzed, but luckily I’d had a long sleeved shirt on hand so I didn’t have to stare at the reminder of my clumsiness all day. I sat in my car to eat lunch again, just as I always had. I had a bit of trouble focusing in my classes, and found it most difficult in physics when I had to go over a worksheet I missed yesterday with Niall’s repeated glances.
I’d managed to avoid speaking with him for a majority of physics class, but eventually I’d had no choice but to respond when he approached me directly.
“Samm,” he’d caught my uninjured wrist, and I wondered if it had been because he’d actually remembered that my other hurt.
I turned to meet his eyes. I rose an eyebrow, flicking my eyes to his hand clasped around my wrist in hopes that he’d see and let go. When he didn’t, I sighed and squared my shoulders, trying to make him understand that this would’ve looked very odd to someone just passing by. Niall didn’t seem affected by this.
“Do you remember our conversation yesterday?” he’d asked. I nodded and a smile appeared on his face. “Okay. So I’ll be over around five, okay?”
I sucked in a breath and took my bottom lip between my teeth. I didn’t know whether the flutter in my stomach was my wariness of the whole situation or my anticipation of what was going to happen. Would Niall finally be apologizing for what he’d put me through for so long? I knew he’d tried to before, but it didn’t really feel as if it had transitioned to normal with us. Then again, after all of these months of what he’d done to me… What really was normal?
I gave him a quick ‘okay’ anyway, only so I didn’t have to worry about talking to him anymore. I just wanted to get through one more class and go home so I could nap — which is exactly what I did.
I woke up from the alarm I’d set on my phone. I pulled my head from the throw pillow on the sofa and fumbled with my cell before finally turning it on silent and heaving it across the room. I shoved my face back into the pillow and groaned. It was about four-thirty. Only half an hour until I had to see Niall again. I didn’t want to, but at the same time I felt I had to. I wasn’t ready to forgive Niall for real, but I needed to.
Whether I wanted to accept it or not, for some reason Niall had changed in the past week. This transition was for the better. If I couldn’t bring myself to believe it, then I would hold the constant fear of the other side of Niall over my head. I had to do this; not only because Niall had asked it of me.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself from the sofa, sliding my feet to the floor and standing slowly. My vision was blurry with a sleepy haze, and my movements the same. Sluggish was the only way to describe myself as I stumbled through the kitchen to the hallway that held the staircase. I then took a deep breath and began pulling myself up the stairs.
By the time I’d managed to make it up the stairs without injuring myself, I’d wasted ten minutes. Biting my lip, I opened my closet and grabbed an outfit (http://www.polyvore.com/park/set?id=91673042) I hadn’t worn in a long time. It was a blue and white-striped jumper with a string that tied around my waist. I slipped into this quickly, along with a pair of tan sandals. The mirror across the room caught my eye and I sighed heavily. My hair was a mess from sleeping on the couch, and I didn’t have the time nor the patience to do anything fancy with it.
I gritted my teeth and brought a stool over to the mirror, sitting down with a few hair ties and several bobby pins. Though it was hard on my wrist, I convinced myself that I could create a french braid down the side of my head, tying it off in a bun and securing my fly-aways with the pins. When I decided it looked okay I picked a simple white headband from my desk and put it on.
