My eyes widened involuntarily. I opened my mouth but no words came out. His presence surprised me - I wasn’t one for surprises.
“Samm,” he spoke first. His expression was a mix of relief and irritation.
Irritation wasn’t good, especially when coming from Niall.
“Erm - Niall,” I said, taking a subconscious step back into the house. I moved my hand behind the door. “What are you doing here?”
I saw the corners of his mouth twitch down. “You seem edgy.”
He didn’t answer my question, but I didn’t feel like pressing further in his seemingly annoyed state. But he was right - after my wrist, the talk with my mum, and now this… I was shaken up - edgy. And when he made a subtle move forward, both the memory and emotional stress of our embrace came back to me.
I took a hasty step back. Flashes of the worst side of Niall appeared in my mind - all of the bruises that’d accumulated, the tears, the cuts, the scars, the scramble for control. All of the things that hadn’t been a problem in the past week had seemed so small until now. As his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration I took another step back, glancing down and allowing my eye to catch on the nearly faded bruises on my right arm in the shape of fingertips - Niall’s.
“Are you okay?” Niall asked, taking a step toward me.
My eyes widened and I drew in a breath. “I - I’m fine,” I stuttered. Almost out of instinct, my body shifted more behind the door, putting a material object between myself and the boy who’d been my tormenter for the longest time. Funny, almost, how one little facial expression had enticed so much anxiety out of me. Maybe it wasn’t just because of Niall that I was this stressed.
“You don’t seem like it,” Niall raised his eyebrow. Lightly, his hand rested against the wood of the door as he stepped through the doorframe.
I tried to take a subtle deep breath as my heart began to race. I was too afraid of getting hurt for the second time today. I was too afraid of Niall right now. But the memory of Niall controlling his anger suddenly appeared fresh in my mind, and I found purchase to allow my breathing, at least, to stay steady. He’d gotten better in these past few days. I just had to keep reminding myself that - and at the same time remind myself that he was unpredictable.
“Samm?” he asked, wringing his hands. “Are you sure you’re fine?”
Something in his tone threw me off. It sounded like… Concern? Empathy? Whatever it was, it was so entirely genuine that I gave him a small smile.
“I am,” I said quietly. My heart started to slow down to its normal pace. “I’m fine.” And then I said something on a courteous impulse. “Would you like some tea?”
Niall smiled. “Sure.”
---
“Can I ask why you weren’t there today?” Niall asked from the counter as I poured a bit of tea into a glass for both of us.
