Chapter 9

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Dear Diary,

Well shit. I never thought that I would see one of my best friends almost die right in front of me, thank god Jonathan was there to the rescue otherwise Lindsay would have been dead now...

I still wonder what he was doing in his car, it looked like he was getting rid of something, but what would he be getting rid of during an accident? Maybe I should text him and ask... Or maybe that would be a little too nosey. But I'm so curious! 

Anyways I'm guessing that Lindsay texted Peyton telling him about my little suicide attempt. I only think that because when I got home Peyton hugged me for the first time in like ever. He just sat there and craddled me saying that it'll be okay and that I'll get through this. He even had the nerve to ask to see my arms. I mean they're perfectly fine. I don't self harm or anything. I mean I've thought about it but I decided that it wouldn't help and that it would only make things worse. 

Honestly, why does life have to be so difficult? I really don't understand it. What did I ever do to deserve this? I just give up on trying to figure out what I did. I'm just going to focus on the postive things in life and ignore the bad. 

I mean thats what you need to do, stay postive. 

Meanwhile, Lindsay and Jonathan really hit it off. She can't stop talking about how great he is and how much she really likes him.

Good for her. 

She finally found true feelings for someone.

I'm happy for her. 

But I really do wish that he was mine, even though I have Stephen (Whom I really love)

Whats wrong with me? Why can't I stay with one guy? Am I really a slut? 

Ugh.

My life seems to be fine right now, but my love life is a mess.

I need to get sleep. Tomorrow is a big day.

Love, 

Acacia Brinley Clark xo

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 22, 2013 ⏰

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