Learning to Love

Chapter 4 - It's A Nightmare

(A/N: There's somewhat graphic descriptions of violence and abuse in this chapter. If you'd find this too upsetting or triggering to read then please skip the part of the story in italics. Thank you :P)

After that rather annoying conversation about school, I decided to resign myself into my room for the rest of the night. I heard everyone else downstairs having fun but I preferred to glare at the ceiling in resentment.

I started to hate the fact that I was adopted. I realised now that it was still going to drive a wedge between Zoe and I. She wanted to be here and she was enjoying herself immensely, I however refused to fully cooperate. These people were not my family, I wasn't going to pretend they were.

I also began to miss how things were at the orphanage. Sure, we were a little miserable but Zoe and I still had each other. Now I have no one. It may have been an over dramatic thought but whilst I was drowning in my own self hate and resentment I couldn't help but feel that way.

Sometime after I had shut myself away for the night, a knock sounded at the bedroom door.

"Zoe?" It was Gerard, "can I come in?"

"Depends, if you're going to try and give me an inspirational speech or try to 'connect' with me emotionally in some way then you can fuck off," I sneered.

The door opened anyway.

"You shouldn't swear," he stated as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"You're telling an angsty seventeen year old not to swear?" I snorted.

"Point taken, still I'd prefer if you didn't say those kind of things in front of Bandit."

"I'm fully aware of the "do's and dont's" of how to act around children Gerard..."

He sighed and finally walked into the room sitting on the side of my bed.

"What's brought this attitude on?" He asked, "is it the school thing."

"Not particularly," I started coldly, "it's more a combination of negative emotions aimed at myself and those around me. Like I said, angsty teen."

"And yet intelligent..." he mused, staring off into the distance.

"Like I said before, I'm not in any need of school. In fact I could probably take some exams now and pass them."

"That's not the reason I want you to go to school," he said, still staring off into the distance, seemingly in deep thought.

"Please do enlighten me."

"Like I said, I looked at your file..." he started, "it looked like you've never had a touch of normality in your life, which is something that might help you. I thought going to school might give you that."

"If school is your idea of normality, I'd rather be an alien..." I scowled at the ceiling harder.

"Trust me, I know school is awful, especially for people like you."

"People like me..?" I repeated dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, non-conformist, the kind of person that hates having to play by the rules simply because the rules are stupid," he started rambling, "I know how people like you work, you're very bright, you hate having to be trapped by an education system because it's rigid and just downright stupid."