Difficult Simplicity

Chapter 8 "On the Same Page"

The afternoon went by smoothly. I didn't see my brother, Ashton, or Julie, so I have no idea if they even came back to school. I didn't even see Jared. I guess he made good on his word to 'give me time'.

As I was putting my stuff into my locker and switching out the books I needed for homework, Jessica and Monica leaned against my locker and sighed.

"What happened to you at lunch? We saved you a spot."

"Sorry, Jared asked me to have lunch with him off-campus to talk."

"Oh wow! So you broke his heart huh?" Monica asked sadly. I think she was hoping things would work out between him and I.

"No...actually...I think I really do like him." I said quietly.

"Really?! What about...? Never mind...are you sure, because you said..." Jessica said looking so confused. Poor girl did not want to say the wrong thing in front of Monica. I had asked her in class not to tell anyone about how I felt about Ashton. She is such an amazing friend!

I had to clear things up so we all knew what was going on. I don't like keeping things from my best friends.

"Ok...so let me explain since we are not all up to speed here." I said looking a little guilty. The girls both looked at me like I was going nuts. I don't blame them, I have never had this much drama in my whole life! I didn't have much time to explain, since I was suppose to meeting Ashton right before cheer practice to talk. So I just started the story from the beginning. I explained everything. How I felt from the start, and even how I felt now about Jared.

Everything.

Even what happened with Ashton, and what happened with Julie and that girl in the restroom.

Both of my friends were shocked into silence. The person I was describing was not me. Not the me that my friends knew. This Olivia was someone stronger. Someone who was not afraid to stand up for herself. Someone who had a senior interested in her.

As my friends were talking amongst themselves, I thought:

I have probably always had feelings for Ashton. I just never let myself admit it. Anytime I dreamed about my prince charming as a little girl, it was someone like him who played that roll in my fantasy. But I knew that it could never be Ashton. He was like forbidden fruit. First of all, he was Ben's best friend! Ben would never let us be together. Second, he was "Ashton-super-fine-Mitchell", he could and did have any girl he wanted. Why would he even think about me? So I guess I just suppressed those feelings early on. And let's not forget...we are so different. He is a player. I want someone who would cherish me, respects me, and makes me feel like I was the most important thing in the world to him. I needed someone who would NOT break my heart. I knew that Ashton could never just be happy with plain old....me. He has never been happy with just one girl. I don't even think he has ever had a real relationship with a girl in his whole life. And he has definitely left a trail of broken hearts behind.

"...well I think she should keep her options open. Why should she jump into something serious with anyone?"

"What are you talking about Jessica? Jared is a great guy...AND he told her he has been interested in her for almost TWO years! A guy like him doesn't just like anyone. I think he's dated other girls but nothing serious."

I realized that I wasn't really listening to my friends as I stood there with them.

"Listen ladies, I really appreciate the advice, but I'm not sure if I know what I want. My heart tells me one thing, and my head tells me another. I wish that they could just agree."

"Don't worry too much. I am sure you'll know what to do. You always have." Jessica said confidently.

"Thanks...so are we still going shopping after cheer practice?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Are you kidding? We are definitely going! It's my mission to find you the sexiest dress!" Monica said with such a big smirk.

"Well it's going to have to be a magic dress to make me look sexy." I said giggling.

"What are you talking about? You would look sexy in a potatoes sack." A deep beautiful voice called from the end of the hall.

"Hey Ashton! What's up?" My best friends said together with a knowing look as my eyes meet theirs.

"We'll meet you at practice, ok? And take your time... we'll cover for you. Good luck. " Jessica whispered with a sympathetic smile.

"Hi, girls." He says with his small seductive smile that shows his dimples slightly.

"Olivia...do you think I could talk to you before practice?"

"Sure. I'll catch up with you girls at practice." I said looking at my friends as they turned to leave us.