Loved and Lied

Chapter 17

The words kept playing in my mind over and over again. "I slept with her" "I slept with her" "I slept with her" Punk's replaying voice seemed to mock me more and more as it kept playing over and over. I was frozen where I sat. I didn't know how to respond to him and the only thing I could do was click end as just sit there. My phone buzzed repeatedly until it finally just stayed there as motionless as I was. He told me he loved me, he promised he wouldn't do this again, he promised... He fucking promised. My conscience was right... He lied. John was right, fucking Randy was right, as she was right... I was just too stupid to see it. Tears fell from my eyes and it was sad that crying just felt so natural now, that being sad was the only thing I could even feel. I buried my head in my knees and ran my fingers back through my hair, it's wanting to wake up from this horrible dream, but it wasn't happening. Some random image of a speeding car ran through mind at the mention of waking up from a dream, but I pushed it away, I don't need to think about cars right now, I don't need to think about anything right now. I picked up my phone and it lot up with 15 missed calls from Punk and a voicemail message which I decided to listen to. I didn't feel like having an actual conversation, so I guess a one way conversation could be fine for right now. "Jamie, fucking hell. Please pick up the phone" was the first one.

"Jaim, babe, please, pick up" came another.

"Alright, you're probably sitting there crying now and you have every right to hate my mother fucking guts right now. Hell I've hated my guts since it happened... But just let me explain..." He took in a deep breath. This was the one I was looking for. "Jamie I went to Lita after everything that happened and I told her that what I did was horrible an she shouldn't have gone along with it and I shouldn't have done it. I told her that we could be friends but I wouldn't have anything to do with her romantically. She agreed and I stayed to hang out at her house. She got us both drinks and I thought she gave me fruit punch, but it was some type of alcoholic thing... I don't tolerate alcohol well at all and I had like 3 or something because I was convinced it was fruit punch. Jaim, she basically dragged me to bed once I was beyond wasted... I wouldn't do that to you again... I'm not that stupid" his voice started chocking around him telling me he was convinced it was fruit punch. With the fact that he cheated not once but TWICE and lied about it... Why does he think I'll trust him? "I don't expect you to believe me in the slightest bit, I've given you no reason to... But I really mean it Jaim... I love you, I always will, no matter if you hate me or not... I'll see you at work I guess..." The voicemail ended and I sat there with my phone in hand, wondering what the fuck to do. I laid back against the pillows on the bed and was debating over and over again what I was going to have to do here. I could either believe Punk and go back, maybe setting myself up for another heartbreak and another painful day/night/week/etc... Or I could not forgive him and still be hurting but be free of worry of him cheating on me again... Take a wild guess at what I chose...