Suicidal Diaries, the Story of Rylie Bordension

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Dear diary,

Today there was a new student in my fifth period. His name is Steve. He was so cute. He is blond with blue sparkling eyes, we talked and talked. He gave me his number, I think he likes me. This is so exciting someone actually likes me. I'm going to remember this date, January 3, 2014. Wait it's almost a month before my birthday. I am so happy right now nothing or no one can bring me down right now, oh wait my dad.

Recently I was researching information for a school project in my 8th grade sex education class. I never told him and now it's to late to tell him because he wont believe me. It was months ago, I am so screwed. Wait, I have a plan. What if I try and play it off and say that my friend used my laptop and was looking it up. Yeah, I will use that so I won't get into any trouble.

As the week goes on Steve and I grew a special bond. We were always hanging out, during school and at home. One day we went to the restaurant across from the school and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Can you believe it I have a boyfriend who isn't even joking either he said that he really likes me and wants to be with me. Of course I said yes because he is my first ever boyfriend. I can't stop smiling even though it was over a few hours ago. I have to call Ashley and tell her this.

"Ashley guess what."

"What Rylie? It's ten o'clock at night. I was sleeping."

"I got my first boyfriend today."

"You couldn't tell me this at school?"

"Nope. I'm to excited I couldn't wait."

"Does your dad know your on the phone?"

"Oh shit. I will talk to you tomorrow."

Once Ashley hung up the phone the hall light went on and I heard my dad running down to my room. I got scared because my dad always gets mad over the small things I do. Imagine what he is going to do to me now. I turned on my side facing the window and pretended to sleep. My dad stormed in my room, grabbed my feet and he ripped me off the bed. I think I hit my head at the bottom of the bed because I started getting a pain in the back of my head.

"Get up on your feet now!" I got up and as soon as I stood up my dad slapped me. I fell to the ground and started crying. All my dad did was yell at me. "Get up!" My dad started to yell that over and over again until I stood up.

"I am sorry dad I didn't know what time it was."

"Your bedtime is nine o'clock no later."

"Please don't hurt me." I was pleading him not to hurt me. He won't listen to me though. I would say that every time he yells at me and he still hurts me. This time was different though.

"I wont hurt you. If you cooperate nothing will happen. This will make you learn your lesson." He left the room. I started to cry harder and harder. I heard my dad make a phone call to three people. In every phone call he said the same thing. "Hey it's time." I had no idea to whom the calls were to.

About half a hour of what happened three cars pulled up. There was only one male in each car and that was it. My dad came in my room and told me that this will make me learn my lesson. The three guys came in my room and circled my bed with me on it. I didn't know what was happening until I saw what the guys had. One of the guys had a couple rolls of duct tape and scissors. Another guy had a bottle and a rag. the last guy he had a gun and a camcorder. They all had black masks on and gloves. I started to scream and my dad was just standing there watching. He Just stood there.

The guy with the bottle which turns out to be chloroform sprayed the chloroform on the rag and came towards me. I Tried to get away but he got on top of me. I was kicking and screaming trying to escape but it was hopeless. The guy on top of me put the rag over my nose and held my head so I wouldn't turn away.

I woke up and saw my hands and legs duct taped to my bed. I was naked and helpless. I look to my left and see a guy naked standing next to the bed masturbating. I look to my right and see my dad recording the whole thing, next to him was the guy with a gun pointing at me. He said if I tried to fight back he would shoot me. My dad didn't do anything. I felt something moving inside me. It was going forwards and backwards over and over again. I look down and see a guy with his dick inside me. I am pretty sure it was like three inches because I could barely feel anything but the thought occurred to me that I was being raped. I started screaming and screaming like I was about to get murdered. To shut me up the guy on the left came up to me and put his dick in my mouth. I started to gag but he kept it in. He told me to start giving him a blow job or he will tell his friend to shoot me. After a few seconds of a dry gross taste I felt something hot and slimy in my mouth. I couldn't hold the taste so I spit the weird taste out and it turns out the guy ejaculated in my mouth. The guy was furious, he smacked me and called me a whore. He grabbed my left boob and started to squeeze it as hard as he could. I was screaming real loud because of the extreme pain.

I wanted the neighbors to hear so I started screaming on the top of my lungs hoping that one of the neighbors would hear me and call the police. No one could hear me though. The guy with the gun told me to shut up or else he would shoot. I immediately shut up. I remember looking up and at the ceiling and just lying there like a dead body.

The whole thing finally ended a few hours past midnight. I was screaming for my life and my dad went up to me and slapped me. "I am keeping this to remind you if you don't listen to me again what just happened will keep happening until you get it right. Now go to sleep you have school tomorrow." He walked out of my room and slammed the door. I started crying more and more after the experience that just happened. My dad came back in my room and started yelling at me. "If you don't shut up I will make that happen every night."

"Hey, what happened to you after I hung up?" I didn't answer Ashley because of the memory of last night. I ran into the girls bathroom and went into one of the stalls and locked the door on the stall. I just sat there all through the next period just thinking. Why would anyone do this to their own kids? I hated how my life was worse at home than at school.