Suicidal Diaries, the Story of Rylie Bordension

1

I was preparing to walk home when the jerk face Jake came to confront me again. I saw it coming, his usual rude remarks and call outs."Hey, Rylie!" He shouts out at me in his sneering tone. "What did you say about me, eh?" I looked at him with a disgusted face, that act again. I thought sharply about his remark again before speaking back in the tone he loved to hear. "I... I didn't say anything." The thought came to me about what he did to me last time, making me shutter in fear at the idea.

He seemed to enjoy it, like he always does, changing his faked hurt face to his usual I-am-more-powerful-than-you look as he was ready to speak the next word in a sneer. "Say what you did again, and you will find yourself in a hospital bed. Left thinking 'Oh why did I ever say that About Jake' or ' I should listen to Jake more often." I wanted to retort at him, but he left me silent as he continued with his stupid story about how I will look like in a hospital bed after he beat me up.

"All you'll remember while your there is my face, looking down on you as I beat the shit out of you, just like I did in the fourth grade. Alongside with your terror, your screams of pain, begging me to stop." He was getting way into this, I could tell, but the thought of the time in fourth grade hit a nerve, and not the best of them either. I started to turn quickly to leave, but he sharply grabbed my shoulder, making look at him when he moved to whisper those final, and near dreadful words. "That is... That is if you Survive it."

I ran home. Terrified about what I just encountered. Once I got home I went straight to my room slammed the door and locked it and then went to get my journal. Dear diary, On my walk home I encountered that jerk Logan again today he threatened to beat me up. I can't deal with his taunting everyday. At school I wonder why he must keep doing. This is non-stop over and over again. Fuck. I cant take it anymore. He always does it to embarrass me. Either its if I'm with my friends or in front of a boy I like. Why? All I ask is why?

"Rylie Nicole Bordension get your ass up here now!"

"What is it dad?"

"Where have been?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean where were you at you shit head?"

"With my friends." I started to cry.

"I swear if you were at the neighbors, you are gonna wish you weren't born."

"Its not my fault I was born. It was you who fucked mom and left her when I was two."

"Excuse me. What did you say? If you ever say that to me I Will hurt you. Now get out of my face."

I ran outside the house to cool down. I hate how my life is like this. There is no point for me to live. It is hard for me to take all this criticism. All I want is to go through my life happy. That can't happen though because my nickname around school is the dumb bitch. All my life I have been bullied. Tortured and beaten by all the jerks who say they don't like people who bully, yet they bully people themselves.

Out of every one at my school I only have two friends. Just two. Samantha, I knew her since kindergarten. She was my partner and we became the best of friends. She is Tall and blond hair with stunning blue eyes and a excellent personality. She respects me and I really appreciate that.

Ashley, she is my new friend. She is short with dirty blond hair. We met in science class and we became friends. She started having my back after she saw me getting bullied. One day one of Jake's friends came up and called me a ugly hoe. Ashley said to him "Hey fat face, stop sucking on the suckers and suck your dads dick. Get your head out of your ass and get away from her. If I hear you ever bully her again you will be dealing with more of me. Now leave. " I was so happy that she said that. He actually left me alone. The best thing about this is that Ashley and Samantha are also best friends.

I wish I did have more friends. More people to talk to, more laughs, more feeling free, most of all feeling safe more knowing someone wants to go through there way to help and care for me. What I really want is to have my first boyfriend and experience my first kiss, experience my first feeling of love. I want a guy who is tall with brown hair, a personality to take my breath away, and the perfect eyes.

What if everything in my life changed and I wasn't bullied. I would have plenty of friends, I can only imagine. What if for one week people would leave me alone. That would be the most amazing week for me. I can just wake up in the morning and knowing that I won't have to be scared anymore. A couple years ago i imagined that one day I will wake up peacefully and get ready without my step mom yelling at everything even small things. When I get down stairs there is a nice breakfast waiting for me. When I walk to the bus my boyfriend will walk with me. Jake will be the one bullied. Everything will be perfect knowing that Jake will torture me no more I will one day be one torturing him.

Just imagine hearing his screams in terror other than hearing my scream of terror. That would be an excellent sound to hear. Him screaming so loud it could ruin his voice. "No! Stop Rylie, Stop!" I would love to hear him say those words as I am on top of him with a knife stabbing him in his arms. Making him scared for life. That would be pleasant.