Call Me Ella (ft. Niall Horan)

Chapter 31 - Satisfaction

This rage boiling inside of me gives me the will to get over with this. I’ll tell her and destroy that smile. I’ll kill that pride she feels and that loving smile will be gone forever. That’s what I need right now.

“Does it have to do with your boyfriend? That lovely guy Niall? I’m so happy! If you want to stop working so you can spend more time with him this last week, consider it done! Whatever you need,” she exclaims overly sweet and I breathe heavily, dying to throw something at her.

“It has to do with him,” I say and Rhonda raises her eyebrows, expecting good news. “I broke up with him,” I finally say.

There’s silence and I’m holding my breath, just like Rhonda. That big smile starts to disappear as a frown comes to her brow. Rhonda blinks confused, as if she expects me any moment to tell her it’s a joke, a bad joke.

“No, you didn’t, Arabella. No.”

“Yes I did,” I insist, folding my arms, feeling powerful.

“No. That boy… no. But… Why? You finally did something good, you got one of the best bachelors and you’re letting him go? Why?”

“Because you set that up. Because you want me to be with him, Rhonda, and I won’t be with someone you want me to be,” I reply, feeling victorious. Feeling that powerful sensation inside my body.

“But you two… No, Arabella, please, think of what you’re doing. He’s so famous and rich and he’ll give you a safe future. Don’t you want that? I won’t be here forever to help you,” Rhonda asks and she looks so broken because of this news, as broken as I should feel but now that I see her like this, I feel great.

“No, that’s not what I want. I want my dreams, my freedom, my own career”, I reply but Rhonda shakes her head and comes to me.

“But if you’re with him you can do anything. You don’t even have to study! You can travel the world and do some charity wherever you want. You can start your own resort for normal people, like your father did!” She insists but I shake my head and pull backwards, away from her.

“I want to study medicine, I want to take the long road and study hard and do it all on my own. I want to help all those who can’t afford a centre like this. That’s what I want to do. I don’t want to be a celebrity’s girlfriend and make you proud along the way. I won’t make you happy, Rhonda.”

“But Arabella… Please, think of what you’re doing. You two are perfect,” she insists but I snort.

“You don’t even know how we are together so don’t say that. I broke up with him and no matter what you say, that’s my final decision. I won’t follow the path you want me to, I’ll follow my own path.”

And with that I leave her office, with a big smile and satisfaction filling my whole body. Nothing can feel better than this, knowing I destroyed that dream she had about me following whatever she dreamt of. Nothing feels greater than knowing I’m doing what I want and not what she wants me to do. Nothing feels more sublime than knowing I’m doing exactly what makes her disappointed and unhappy.

I knew it was going to be worth it, this feeling is worth it.

+ + + + +

By the end of the day I’m having dinner in my room, alone but with a smile still on my lips as I remember Rhonda’s face when I told her. She’ll never look at me with a big and proud smile again, she’ll never treat me like a daughter again. That makes me happy.

Until I hear a knock on my door.

For a second I freeze, wondering who it could be. It could be Niall, it could be Liv, it could be even Harry.

“Ella?” But it’s Charlie who calls at my door.

I sigh heavily, preparing myself. I haven’t told him yet but I’m sure he knows and that’s why he’s here. “Come in,” I say and he opens the door, walking in carefully.

“Hey there,” he says. “Are you okay? We haven't seen you in the whole day.”

“I’m fine, I’m great,” I reply with a smile because I’m fine. Overall, I’m fine. I’m good at dealing with shit and I always focus on the good things.

“Really?” He asks, a confused expression in his eyes as he sits next to me on my bed. “Niall came to us today at lunch time, looking for you. He told us what happened yesterday. Ella, what did you do?”

“I did what I needed to do, Charlie. I broke up with him because for me it’s more important to stand for what I believe.”

“But that doesn’t make you happy, he does! He was devastated, looking for you, hoping to change your mind.”

“But I am happy now, Charlie. I told Rhonda and her face when she realised I’m not doing what she wants was all I needed to be happy. You know me and you know her. You’ve seen all what my life has been. You better than anyone should understand why I can’t just do what she wants me to do, I can’t accept all what she’s caused. I can’t become one of her daughters,” I insist. “Charlie, being with Niall is what Rhonda wants me to do, she wants me to be with a celebrity, to become just someone’s girlfriend so he’ll give me a life she thinks is worth it, but you know that’s not what I want. I can’t be with Niall knowing that I’m, unconsciously, doing what Rhonda has always wanted me to do. It’s like betraying myself.”

Charlie remains silent, thinking of what I’ve told him and I sigh. I don’t expect him to understand, I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m doing, but I know I’m right. It feels right to do this. It’s not the easiest way out, but it’s the right now. The easy way out would be forget about Rhonda and just be with Niall, but I can’t do that.

“But you love him, don’t you?” He asks.

“Charlie,” I try one more time. “I’ve hated Rhonda for six years and yes, I do love Niall, but I’ve loved him for so little that it can’t compare to the time I’ve spent fighting Rhonda.”

“So you chose Rhonda over Niall,” Charlie summarises but I shake my head.

“No, I chose myself. I chose what I believe in and what I stand for. That’s what I chose, Charlie. Not a boy, not my nemesis. I chose myself.”

Once again Charlie doesn’t reply, he only looks at me and I smile, trying to tell him that this is important to me and that what I believe is right. Maybe another girl would’ve picked the boy, maybe Cinderella would’ve picked love above all, but I’m not Cinderella. I’m Ella, a girl who’s tired of clichés, a girl who’s tired of her stepmother and just wants to live her life and her life doesn’t include a famous boy who’s exactly what her stepmother wants her to be with.

“So you’re sure about this?” Charlie asks, still a bit unsure.

“Positive,” I reply taking his hand and giving him a squeeze. “It’s just like it was when summer began, Charlie.”

“Okay, if this is what you think is the right thing, then I support you. But if you’re sad, if you want to cry or anything, don’t be shy. It’s okay to be sad, even when you know you’re doing the right thing. I’m here for you, and Liv is also here. And I’m sure even Harry would support you, even if he’s friends with Niall. And I bet even Niall will understand this.”

“I hope so,” I say with a weak smile. “I want to remember this summer only with a smile. It was special, it was the best out of all the ones I’ve spent here.”

“And I bet it’s because I was working here, too,” Charlie adds with a cocky smile, making me laugh.

“Totally,” I joke along and we laugh together and it feels great to have him, to laugh with him.

Yes, this is the right thing to do. I’m sure of it. The pain for losing Niall will eventually fade away but the satisfaction for doing this will always stay.

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @whisper_louder because you understood perfectly and you said something very important:  "Just keep in mind, that if Niall and Ella are truly supposed to be together, they will find each other again one day"

Bel, xx