A Selfish Moment

13 - Jubilee - 8:00 PM

"Good night chipmunk," I say after stealing one last kiss on her cheek.

"Good night mommy," she whispers, rolls to her side, yawns once more and closes her eyes. In sleep, Aryana is the epitome of peace.

After my long, relaxing bath I head to my bedroom with my hair twisted in a towel. I usually stay up for a while to let my hair dry naturally, but the weekend has really worn me out, not to mention the malaise that has found a temporary home in my insides. Just before I turn in, I peek into Aryana's bedroom and steal one more kiss. She doesn't wake from her deep slumber. Good.

On my way back to my room I grab my cell phone and jump under my thick, brick-red, flannel blanket. My eyes barely stay open as I plug in my cell phone into the charger sitting on my night stand, as I do every night. A single popping sound from my phone catches my attention. I have voicemail.

"Hello. My name is Sandra O'Keefe calling from St. John's Queens hospital. I'm calling Jubilee Ray on behalf of Sophie Ramirez. Jubilee is listed as Sophie's emergency contact in her insurance company database. Sophie is in the emergency room at St. John's, there has been an incident that I cannot discuss over the phone. Please call the hospital to inquire about Sophie's condition at..."

My heart races as I write the number down on the back of a magazine sitting on my nightstand. I call the hospital's number, follow the prompts and somehow, after pressing several buttons, I'm back at the initial recording.

Before I can think of anything else, I pull on a pair of jeans, a black jersey and my black Converse trainers. I quickly tie my hair into a tight bun and slap on a baseball cap. I look at my watch. It's almost ten. Who can I call to watch Aryana? I normally would call Sophie. Sophie is my emergency contact.

I have no choice but to carry her in my arms. I slip her suede cold-weather boots onto her feet and her pink puffer jacket over her pajamas while she sleeps. Her arms swing lazily over my shoulders, not really holding onto me, and I head out to the hospital.

From the front of my building I see a few police cars flashing and several uniformed officers walking about. Yellow tape cuts off a section of the block in front of the entrance to Sophie's building less than fifty feet away. My heart starts racing. I suspect this is related to the voicemails. With my daughter weighing heavy in my arms, I walk over to the scene. An old Chinese woman I recognize from the neighborhood waves me over the instant our eyes meet.

"It's your friend," she says in a thick, Chinese accent. "Big hair, very pretty."

"Sophie?" I reply. The old lady nods. "Hey!" I shout to an officer. Aryana shakes slightly in my arms but settles back to sleep. The officer walks over to me and I ask in a softer tone. "My friend lives in this building, Sophie Ramirez." My throat tightens up and I clear it before I continue in a rough voice. "What happened?"

"Hold on. Quintana!" He calls another officer wearing a gray sweatshirt and jeans with a NYPD badge hanging on a chain around his neck. "She says she knows Sophie Ramirez," the officer shouts as Officer Quintana runs towards me.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Jubilee Ray...I received a call from the St. John's Hospital, about Sophie Ramirez," I say to the plain-clothed officer. My bottom lip trembles but I bite it down, forcing myself to maintain composure. "What happened to her?"

"Are you family?"

"No, but we're practically sisters. We've known each other our whole lives."

"Does she have any biological family close by?"

His request stabbed my gut so hard that I had to take a deep breath. I reply in a harsh tone while keeping the tears from streaming down my face. "No. Her parents are in Miami. I'm her only family here. She has no one else." The office nods, staring me down as if trying to determine if I'm telling the truth.