Finally Free (Editing Slowly)

Chapter One

*Dream*

"Carter where are you going?" I whisper softly as I stare up at him. In the darkness I can just make out Carter's silhouette standing in my door way. I get out of bed and stand in front of him hoping he will say he had a bad dream and wanted to sleep with me. He does not say anything after a couple minutes he lifts his head and looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"Mommy said that we are going to Aunt Sarah's house for a while and she said we will have to come back and get you Aunt Sarah does not have enough room for all of us..." he whispers softly while staring at his feet, playing with his fingers. He does this when he is nervous. I watch a tear slide down his cheek when he says they do not have enough room. 

"Wha.. what?" I can feel my bottom lip quivering. They're leaving me.. Please do not leave me with daddy I cannot do it by myself. As I think that last thought he pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight, with him being a couple years older he already has a foot or more on me..

"I will come back for you I promise Amber. I love you.. stay strong tiger."

He leans down and kisses the top of my head before walking out of my room. I stand in the doorway and watch him and mommy collect their bags. I wait for the front door to close, then I run back to my bed throwing myself down on the blankets as I cry myself to sleep. Somehow I know they will not come back and that makes me cry harder.

*End of dream*

I jolt awake my breathing is hard and my face is wet. Another memory I wish I would just forget. I wipe the remaining tears from my cheeks and roll out of bed trying to be as quiet as I can. I do not want to wake him.

I have the same dream every night and I have been having them since I was ten. My brother and mom never did come back to get me. I learned to get over it I mean who would want to come back to a house that is filled with horrible memories. Now my father and I live in Michigan, I miss California but so far Michigan has been great.

I have been thinking  about them a lot wondering how they are, if my mom got remarried, has more kids, where they live, and how Carter is. Even though they left me behind I miss them like crazy. I mean what if they stayed, would the abuse be as bad as it is now? Would it have stopped?

I will never know. They have moved on with their lives and I have been fighting for mine.

I hear my dad in the kitchen and from the sounds of it he is probably still drunk from last nights trip to the bar. I hear him stumble into the counter and knock over something glass. He swears and shoves the kitchen chair out of his way, he does not yell for me so I know it is safe for me to get in the shower.

I get up and go to my closet, the first thing that catches my eye is a black  top with ruffles going down the front and a pair of dark blue jeans that would look really good with it. I open my plastic dresser that hold my bras, socks, etc. I grab a black bra and matching underwear and decide to stick with black socks to keep up the trend. 

I head for my bathroom that is connected to my room and put the toilet seat down so I have somewhere to put my clothes. When I shut my bathroom door I catch a glimpse of myself in the body length mirror hanging on the back. I cannot help but stare at the girl in front of me, shoulder length dark brown hair and piercing green eyes that sometimes looks blue instead of green. I run my finger down my nose which I think is to big for my face down to my lips that are getting chapped with the cool spring air outside. As I stare at myself I catch a glimpse of one of the bruises my dad left last night peaking out of the collar of my shirt right by my collarbone. 

I turn away from the mirror and turn on the shower, I like my showers hot it helps me relax after nights like last night. Once I get it to the perfect temperature I start stripping off my clothes, trying to be very careful of my right side. Tenderly I touch the sore black and blue spot right below my breast and hiss through my teeth, this is going to make today so much harder I can barely take in a full breathe. 

I step into the shower and let the hot water relax my shoulders. I grab my Shea butter body wash and squirt some onto a wash cloth and with barely any pressure I start washing my body. I start at my shoulders and gently go over the bruise by my collar bone and continue across my chest. When it comes time to wash my torso I stick to my left side and by the time I am done I do not even want to bend over to wash my legs so I just let the soapy water run down my body. Washing my hair has always felt therapeutic to me letting the warm water run down my face and running my fingers through my hair just puts me at ease. 

"AMBER!!!"

Oh shit,  I jump out of the shower and grab a towel making sure I shut the water off. I dry my hair first making sure to do it the best I can then I dry off my body being as gentle as I can while going as fast as I can, I do not even bother drying off my legs. I pull on my underwear and bra and quickly slide into the rest of my clothes. I glance in the mirror but I don't do anything I just stare. The girl looking back at me seems so broken you can see it in her eyes nothing but dull lifelessness she cannot seem to pull herself back together. There is a pounding on the door and he screams for me to open up and let him in.

I open the door and come face to chest with my father. He is so much taller than me that I have to lift my head in order to look him square in the eyes.

"About fucking time, if you would have taken any longer you would be late!" He screams at me.

He grips my arm and pulls me through the kitchen I can feel my ribs screaming in protest but I have learned not to cry or say anything. We reach the front door and he finally releases me I rub my arm hoping that the familiar sting of pain goes away.

 I glance at my shoes as I continue to rub my arm and walk quickly to the coat rack grabbing my hand me down black zip up sweater it has a small hole in the back so it will do for now but I will need to get a job so I can buy a new one before fall comes. I am thankful that my shoes are slip on so I do not have to bend over to put them on when I am ready I look at my dad. 

"I'm sorry daddy."

He turns for the front door throwing it open and storms out stomping down our driveway to our four door black pick up. I am thankful for the step they built just under the passenger door I do not know if I could have climbed in with my ribs in the shape that they are. I walk quickly and silently behind him making sure I lock the door behind us. 

He starts it up and the roar of the motor does not sound healthy for a truck. I glance at my average sized new home. The yellow paint is chipping and if you were to look at the roof you can tell that the house is uneven. It was the best that we could do in such a short notice. Once I get in I sigh and rest my head against my window and stare at the neighborhoods we pass by until we pull into my new school Black Knight High School.