Bound To The King Of Death

Shock or Hurt?

   Alaina's P.O.V

"What?"

No this can't be really happening to me right now. I just managed to swallow the lump of harsh reality hitting my face that I have to spend my entire college time in a place I never wanted to come back to but now this?

"listen Alaina please calm down, I can explain everything, just give me a chance to explain..." I interrupted him mid speech by the sheer force of my glare or maybe it was the fact that I was standing just an arm distance from a very heavy looking dumble on the rack in the living room that got him to shut up.

If he thinks I'm gonna throw a dumble at him as a way of taking out the anger and deceived I feel because he let me go through all the tragedies alone, then he's got another thing coming for I'm gonna do something much worse to him and by god he deserves it.

"how the hell do you expect me to calm my horses down? You are standing in front me, the uncle that I thought I lost that night in the fire along with my parents!..." my question just made him go even quieter then he already was, if that is even possible.

"...but apparently you are very much alive and not just that, you're telling me you have been living here all along but never once did you think about letting your oblivious niece know that you still haven't stopped being a freaking burden on this earth?!" hearing my last words puts a little lift on the ends of his lips and I can't blame him if the situation wasn't soo confusingly infuriating, I would have also laughed on the words that spilled out of my mouth.

I'm always like this when I get angry but this time it's different, this time I'm truly hurt, feel betrayed, feel like my whole life I spent mourning over the lose of my family was just a conclusion expected from a big well planned prank, and now at any moment my parents are going to jump out from behind the curtains or the couch and tell me they've got me.

A part of me cling to the idea and expects it to be true almost desperately, but the rest of me knows thats a stretch I shouldn't be holding on to, if I want my remaining self to stay intact, which is already crumbling down under the harsh blows of reality.

"Alaina I wanted to come to you as soon as I came back but they told me that it has been a long time and you have already struggled to come to terms with the lose a ten year old should never experience but you have, and you were finally settling back in your life. They said that coming back in your life would disturb and effect negatively on your emotional development." he kept explaining with an expectant look on his face, telling me full well that he expects a reaction from me and judging by his state.

I say any sort of reaction to his words wether good or bad, huge or slight would suffice him but I'm not to put him out of his misery just yet. I spent years miserable with the lose so what's a few minutes of misery huh.

Earning no response from me, he continued with a even more miserable expression as if he is about to loose his game on which his life depends on.

"Alaina you were too young, too emotionally tender from everything and they also told me about the incidents with you. We just didnt know coming back would do you any good at all or just more damage, it was a risk that wasn't worth taking. So we decided that my presence would be kept from you. But only untill you were mature and stable. So I waited." his face tells his words held the truth that he kept from me all these years.

But what does he mean when he came back where was he? Wasn't he at the house that night? And who are the 'we' he keeps saying? Was my aunt involved in it too did she know all this all along? Ugh too much this is too much to take.

And he says he did this for me, he hid from me to give me a chance to live a life with as much peace of mind as a girl who got orphaned by both her parents in one night, can live with.

He was my only family left, well ofcourse after my aunt. But I'm also his only family. All this time atleast I had my aunt as a family, as a friend as someone to talk to as a shoulder to cry on as someone to share my laughs with. But he didnt have even that, I was his only family left, yet he still stayed away from me because he thought it was good for me.

He was probably was in as much pain as I was. He lost his family too and the one he was left with he couldnt go to. I think he and I were in the same ship but just facing different directions.

Im unable to think what to say, well when you are kinda forced to go back to you're old life and suddenly come face to face with an uncle that were supposed to be dead and almost completely decomposed by now, temporary dumbness could be expected.

"well you said "we" when you said you made the decision of staying behind for my betterment, well who is the "we" who told you about me struggling and.. Umm and about all the incidents?" I fired the questions at him but not before loosening my posture to that of a newly adopted dog who is almost trying to get relaxed and comfortable but is also on high alert, I'm sure I look as if Im suffering from constipation but who cares, my life is too crazy to care about hiding my digestive system disturbances. Not that I have any.

"Oh it was your doctors that were observing your mental health and your emotional status, since you know, you were only a child, and a child can only take soo much, but I'm soo proud of you that you faced things with such strength" he smiled at me but his smile had something, something that he was trying to hide but feeling guilty for doing so.

But I knew what he was trying to hide.

"Sarah knew didnt she?" I voiced my suspicion and it felt like I just sentenced him to death as his face became serious and he simply nodded looking down.

A sigh left my lips.

"Nina, your aunt didn't want to hide that from you but she couldn't also take such a risk with your well being, she loves you just as your mother would... And I love you just the same my little nina, im still the same uncle Jake, your uncle Jake. Please forgive me... Forgive us nina" he used the name everyone used to call me by, and just like a tidal wave everything, all the memories hit me hard almost knocking me off balance.

Im back. Back in ny hometown and in the house that was once burned to ashes but now rebuilt to all its glory and I don't know if its for good or bad that the house is built again just as the replica of the house before it was burnt to the ground. The house and the presence of my uncle was as if not enough, my pet name which ny parents called me by echoed through the house and it was enough to complete the combo to knock me to ground with the sh**load of memories, some good some bad.

Suddenly I felt the house closing in on me and my breathing turned from slow and steady to pants for oxygen. I couldn't take this anymore, I need fresh air, need to think, need to process the whole situation, need to digest everything that happened after stepped into this house, huh the same house that was supposed to b barren in ashes but no its back to being just as it was. I dont know whether I'm happy to see that its exactly the same as it was before, that atleast something of a my past of my parents I got back. Or is it a painful reminder that this house is never gonna be the same, nothing will ever. Maybe not even jake and I will be the same as we were before, or maybe we can be, maybe we just need time to get used to the fact that we still have some part of our family left which we just got back.

Yes I need time...

And space...

I need to go...

Without saying anything I just turned towards the direction I came in from and started walking and fast that is.

"wait! Alaina where are you going?

Jakes question burned in my ear and I stopped in my tracks just few steps away from the front door.

I dont know where I'm going or what I'm gonna do going in that direction.

Just as I was about to say something like 'I don't know' or something like that. I saw something shiny on the small table just beside me. Come to think of it, I did see a cool red Ferrari outside on the house porch.

Mmmh well maybe I do know what I'm gonna do.

"Out!" was all I replied to him with a side glance.

His car keys folded in my left fist, well it's his luck I happen to be good at driving actually very good if I'm not being modest.

And I walked out of the house.