Goodbye, honey :Story of an Indian bride

#Newlyweds

The first month after the wedding was a little less horrible than I'd imagined it to be.

The next day after the wedding, I'd gone home to meet my parents for 'Pag fera' ceremony. After that we had left for Dubai for our honeymoon. I had wanted to go to someplace else, like France, Italy or Greece. But he wouldn't hear of it. He had a business deal in Dubai and that's why we were headed there.

I spent most of my honeymoon sitting alone in my hotel room or roaming on the streets of Dubai. When he'd come back from his meetings we would have dinner together. On days  he didn't have meetings we would go out together and visit various places.

The best times I had with him in Dubai were the ones when we didn't talk about our problems. But they never disappeared, their presence always lingered on the surface.

***
Since his parents had gone to Banglore to visit his elder brother and wife, we had the apartment to ourselves.

Okay not completely to ourselves.

Ten days after coming back from our honeymoon, Puneet's pregnant sister Ankita came to stay with us. Her mother in law was dead and her husband was off to a business trip, so nobody was there to take care of her.

Obviously they found someone to take care of her, me. The newly wedded bahu of Chabra's who hadn't even picked up a plate in her own house.

They didn't directly say,"Priyanka you have to take care of her." But it was pretty much implied.

So after coming back from my honeymoon my schedule was somewhat like this:Get up at eight in the morning, cook breakfast for my husband and his sister then go to work. Then come back at eight, call my mother, frantically ask her for instructions and cook food. There were maids for other household chores so I didn't have to worry about that.

My Sundays belonged to Puneet. If I even mentioned going out with my friends, he'd go mad. It didn't agree with him that my friends were still a priority for me. According to him, my priority should only be him and his family. And since family is included in the list of priorities, his sister would come with us wherever we went.

Also, whenever I went shopping, he'd come with me to check on the clothes I was buying. Skirts and dresses weren't a part of my wardrobe anymore. But that didn't mean I still owned them. They weren't at Puneet's place, they were at my mother's.

It wasn't all that bad. Sometimes it was quite nice, being with him. Before his sister had come we would go to movies together. Or help me in the kitchen to cook.

Once, I had met with an accident and sprained my leg. He immediately came and took me to the doctor. After that he even massaged my leg.

Despite all of that, I still wasn't happy. I had trouble sticking to the rules. I wasn't a person who stuck with them even before. So I did what I knew best. I broke the rules.

My internship would get over by six and Puneet came home by ten. So after work I'd go and meet my friends, come home till eight. That gave me two hours to cook food.

I didn't go for parties or wear short skirts but I felt like I was cheating him. I felt guilty and I was constantly worried about getting caught.

I talked to my mother about everything, but she only said, "Beta, life changes after marriage. Ours did. I too had to adjust, listen to others. We didn't even have money then. Nor the freedom to work outside. You are lucky."

I wondered what use that luck was of  me right now when I felt so trapped in my own body. I wasn't living anymore, just surviving. The changes didn't suit me because from inside I hadn't. My change was a pretense I wore to please Puneet.

Pretend I did. That was the effort I took towards our marriage. I left the comforts of my house for this marriage. What did he do?

Author's note:

Now that they are married, people are wondering, didn't they do it?

The answer is, yes they did it. But no, I am not going to write about it.