What I Couldn't Tell Him

9 - Adds To The Charm

"No, I'm serious Alden."

"Stop being so mopey. I'm bored too, do it for me." He says, grinning. I cross my arms over my chest. I shouldn't even be considering this. Not after what just happened. Not with what I know now. It's cruel and selfish and inconsiderate-

"Do what, exactly?"

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and I roll my eyes. He has made me smile, to be fair. Unexpected.

"You're so hormonal." I shake my head and start walking away from the window. He's still leaning right out of his window to hold mine up.

"Jaimie! I was joking." He calls back, laughing. I turn around. He sounds a little panicky, though that was probably my imagination.

"What then?" I challenge.

"Its a surprise."

"Oh, so you've planned this?" I tease him and he smirks.

I ask myself why I am considering this, since the plan was to hesitate when someone asks my name. And here I am considering a spontaneous evening outing. I don't even like him.

I think I am considering this as a small act of defiance against my mother.

Jaimie from the past wouldn't have given a second's consideration. Hot guy pleading for your company? What could be better?

Right now, my uncontrollable enthusiasm is igniting a mushroom cloud of guilt inside my chest. It's swelling, but I'm still ignoring it somehow.

"Meet me at my front door in ten mins." He says, letting my window fall and slam into the frame. He disappears inside his house.

I watch for a few seconds, before walking to my mirror and braiding my hair back. I don't bother with makeup. If I let myself get self-conscious now I'll never be ready in ten minutes.

I meet him outside his house. My mother thinks I'm going for a walk to clear my head. I did that a lot more where I used to live.

"Hello lovely." He greets me, leaning against a motorbike.

"Don't," I reply. He shrugs, smiling. Not smirking.

"Are we going on that?" I ask.

"Yeah, you scared?" He grins, walking toward me.

"No."

He gets closer than I'd like and I sidestep him to look at the bike. He is watching me.

"You gonna stand there staring or take me somewhere?" I turn to look at him. His eyes are narrowed.

"I don't have a helmet. It'd mess up your hair anyway." He says, twirling a strand between his fingers. I lean in, almost enough that we touch, and move to his ear, he tenses a little.

"Don't touch me again," I whisper, before pulling away and seeing his confusion. He's blank, eyes blinking like cursors on a screen. He shakes his head suddenly and snaps back to life.

"Thought you were gonna kiss me for a second there. Guess I have to wait a few more days." He teases.

"Wait until the thirtieth of February, and then I will think about it," I respond, disgusted at his overconfidence, but also a little bit proud of my ability to stupify him.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say."

He climbs onto the bike first and revs the engine. I climb on behind, making sure I leave some space. He shuffles back against me and I shove him in the shoulders. He turns to me.

"What?"

"Don't touch me. You remember?"

"Sorry." He smirks. Then he grabs my hands and wraps them around his stomach. I scowl.

"You would rather touch me than fall off wouldn't you?"

"I'm not sure," I mutter. He scoffs.

"Don't lie, babygirl, I know you want this." He grins revving the engine again.

I make an exaggerated wrenching motion, which he watches over his shoulder, scowling.

"So you're here because...?" He fires back.

"It was this, or have another conversation with my mother and that wasn't an appealing option," I say, and immediately tense with regret. I wasn't planning on saying that.

I ready myself for some kind of query, but he proves a little more intuitive than I thought. He looks into my eyes, then shelves his serious expression.

"But this was?" He grins, leaning back again.

"No! Alden lean forward or I swear I'll-"

He cuts me off by kicking the stand and pulling away quickly, leaving a little rope of smoke trailing behind. My hands tighten around him and I feel the stiffness of muscle under my hands, I loosen it as much as possible.

"You're so cliché,"

"Adds to the charm."

"What charm?" I scoff.

He turns his head to wink at me, and I yelp something incoherent about keeping his eyes on the road. He chuckles, and I feel it against me. We got quiet for a few minutes and I notice myself relaxing against him a little and do nothing about it.

He doesn't smell of cigarettes. I didn't even realise. I let my eyes wander to his back pocket, pulling back, and notice that he doesn't have any on him either.

"You don't smell so bad now," I say.

"I didn't smell before." His voice is heavy with defense.

"Right, you stank." I retort, and he skids around another corner. He gets horribly close to a hedge and I hiss in a breath, tightening my grip on him.

I swear I hear him breathe in quickly, but I can't be sure. Probably just the tight corner.

"You okay back there, Princess?"

"Fuck you!" I have to shout over him as the motorbike squeals into a dusty clearing.

"Here we are." He announces, as though it was the Disneyland castle.

"...In a dusty car park."

"You're so ungrateful. We aren't quite there yet." He replies, swinging his leg over the bike and winking at me.

"I didn't exactly ask to come." I murmur as he wanders into the trees ahead.