Four Years Apart

Initiativeness

~Kerri's POV~

Over the next two weeks, after every single CCA session, I would ask Shane if he wanted to take the train with me. Knowing that he has claustrophobia, whenever the train got a little too crowded for his liking, he would tense up so badly he would his muscles will be as hard as stone. Soon after he normally started to shake, then he breaks down. Sometimes the things he cried over are kind of... Cute? But I am not a mean person, so I would bring him into my arms and he will bury his head into my shoulder, loosening up. The first couple times I did that, he would jump and almost scream, but gradually he calmed. We would always talk about the things we really liked. For him, it was books, humanities and music. For me, it was anime, math and music. While I was babbling on about how I chose the math route, he seemed to be pretty interested in it. He told me that he used to top the level in his elementary school every single time for mathematics, and he took quite a liking to it too. However, humanities was still his favourite subjects and ones he would like to pursue more than math. "If humanities really just won't work out for me, then math will certainly be the second option on the list!" He once told me. After CCA sessions, in the train, he would never fail to tell me how I was the only person he clicked with and related with so well. He will also tell me how thankful he is that I am willing to spend time with him, as I was his only friend. Truth is, I was really happy around him too.

Yeevon texted me that night, and this was our conversation:

Yeevon: Hey! Did you know that Shane guy before he came to this school?

Me: No, why?

Yeevon: Nah, just asking, cuz y'all seem pretty close, that's all.

Me: I kinda initiated the friendship, he seemed really really REALLY lonely in the first day of CCA.

Yeevin: Ohh, I see...

~Shane's POV~

Warmth. That's how I felt with Kerri. In the terribly crowded train, the stone cold air conditioning blew on my neck, making me shiver. As people pushed around the train, that just intensified the immense uncomfort I am feeling. As if on cue, Kerri would then always wrap her arm around me. At first, I was shocked she would even touch a freak like me. Slowly, I could tell she also kind of liked it? I began to relax in her arms. As I was slightly shorter than her, my head was at her ears. Her shoulders were where I would like to bury my face into, away from the horrendously crowded train. On Fridays, the trains were usually more crowded. I guess Kerri knew the horror of that, as she would usually wrap me in her arms tighter. Once, I got so overwhelmed I started full on sobbing and shaking in her arms. I even stained her sleeve with my tears. It was so embarrassing and I kept apologising to her, but she shrugged it off like it was no big deal. She's the nicest person ever to me...

As the weeks progressed, the workload started to pile higher and higher. On days of CCA, I didn't get to read at all after practicing my cello and piano. Which is why I started to read during my recess and lunch breaks. I still ate, but quickly. I was obviously suffering from a reading deficiency. Competition in class was really, really tough. More than half the class managed to obtain a perfect 4.0 gpa and no one got a gpa below 3. Me, forever being careless as hell, somehow managed to get a gpa of 4.17 in the first term which I was pretty happy about.

On the last day of the first term, on a Friday, I asked Kerri if she had any plans during March Break. "Umm, not really. Why?" I looked at my feet, and barely whispered, "I... Would like to hang out with you." I looked up with an expectant smile. Kerri beamed. "Sure! Let's go out and have lunch and study together then!" I was so happy that I almost cried. I texted her the details, which she quickly agreed to. I realised, this was the first time I am going out with someone other than my family. On Friday, whilst showing my parents my results slip, I mustered up the courage to ask them if I could go out with Kerri for a simple meal. However, whenever I opened my mouth to speak, no sound nor coherent words came out. After signing my results slip, I was about to go back to my room to read or play the piano when my parents stopped me. "You can go. I know what you're thinking boo." my mom said in a weirdly gentle voice. I spun around, mouth agape. I managed to mutter an okay before sprinting back to my room. I was too mentally flustered to read, so I just lay down in bed and fell asleep.

I awoke at four am because I slept at six last night. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Feeling decently rested, I decided to plug in to some music and go the park near my house for a walk, yes, at four in the morning. I wrote a note to my mom to tell her and went out of the house. The park was really cold, dark and quiet, just the way I like it. I walked along the tar pavement. The pebbles on the ground making a scrunching sound whenever I took a step. I walked and walked and walked. Round and round, around the park several times. "Will anyone ever know, do my parents even know?" I whisper cried to myself.

Back in the fifth year of elementary school, I was in a class with mostly boys, unlike the previous four years, where there only a couple guys in the class excluding me. Being in a class with more girls than boys mean less rowdiness, and that was what I was having trouble adapting to. Fifth year was when the bullying started to amplify. Previously, the insults were just "Oh, he's so girly", nothing too painful. In fifth year, that was when words like "fag, homo, gay, queer, f*cker" started to come along. My last two years in elementary school was the two years before I was a teen. At 11, I just could not comprehend how my peers can have such a vicious tongue, filled with so much venom.

I sat down on a park bench and rolled down the sleeves of my jacket. The scars were still there. No one knew, not even my parents, that I fell into depression for those last two years of elementary. I almost ditched my promotional examinations. However, I only managed to pull through barely, with that last ounce of strength I had. After the promotional examinations came a long two month break. I was cooped up in my room with my books, erasing those painful, painful memories. I looked at the scars, tears welling up in my eyes. So far in school this year, no one paid any attention to me, so that meant no bullying. But, loneliness was still painful. Until Kerri came along...

~Kerri's POV~

Okay, I am meeting Shane on Monday for lunch and a studying session and I have nothing to wear. We were going into the bustling city library instead of a neighbourhood library. I had nothing to wear. "CHRISTINAAAAAAAA WE HAVE TO GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES!" I yelled at my sister. She appeared immediately. We went to the nearby mall, hoping that I could find something presentable to wear. The whole Saturday afternoon was spent at the mall. I managed to find decent clothes which I was quite happy about. I bought a black tee and skinny black jeans and black converses. Black is my happy colour always. I spent the rest of the day doing some work that I wanted to get over and done with. On Monday, I am going to bring light hearted work to do, aka math. The rest I am going to complete today and tomorrow.

While I spent the rest of the day mugging, my mind wandered back to Shane on the first day of CCA at that corner of loneliness...

~Shane's POV~

I glanced at my phone: 5.15am. I saw a couple of old people starting to come to the park for their morning exercises. I wiped the tears from my eyes, covered my wrists with my sleeves, and made my way back home. I was thinking of wearing something simple on Monday. I settled for full black as usual. My wardrobe was pretty pathetic, other than black, there wasn't anything else except for my school uniform. I spent the rest of the day doing my work.

Being in Year one is really a breeze. I managed to finish all my holiday homework within five hours, so I was left with nothing else to do. I picked up my book and started to read. BZZ! My phone rang. I looked at it, and saw that Kerri sent me a text.

Kerri: Hey! Excited for Monday!!

Me: Me too ^•^ how's your holiday work going so far? I've done mine so I'm just lazing around... I will bring a book on Monday.

Kerri: One subject down! Four more to go! Text you later then :( got to go back to work.

Me: Baiii xx

Kerri: Baiii ~~

I got lost in my book once again, drowning myself in the words. Just like that, Kerri pulled me out of the dark abyss I had fallen in...