Damaged Goods (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER NINE

             5 years, 2 months, and 17 days. The amount of time since I've held my children. I have been moving around nonstop to where they are. Maria is now engaged to a man named Carter. I see pictures upon pictures on Instagram. Carter has been holding my children. Eliott is almost 6 and Julissa is almost 10. He calls them his! They have a son named Michael he's about 5. That hurts. Knowing that right after she left me she went and had a baby with someone else. From the pictures I've seen I know that she's pregnant again and it's a girl this time. I've tried to contact her asking for an explanation. I've written letters and called, but no response. She finally blocked me last year. I have so many questions. How could one day someone wake up and decide they don't love you anymore? How could they just leave after everything you had been through? Who does that sound like? My bastard of a father. Speaking of which. That girl that he knocked up called me the other day, I guess she got my number from my aunts. She wanted me to come meet by little brother. I told her I'd meet him but not her. She said it was either both of them or neither, so I told her it was neither. He's 21 though. My dad had him with her when I was about 7.

            As I scroll through Instagram I see a comment on one of Carter's pictures. "💰🔫😂" The username? @deonté.tak. Is Carter in the gang?? I can't have my children around a gang member. I click on @deonté.tak's page and examine his bio. "Leader of the best gang in Manhattan. 💊🔫💰💵💃🏾." I begin to hyperventilate. My worst nightmare is in the same city as me. His headquarters are even in a different city now. It's in the same city as me. I login to my fake Instagram. Yes, I stooped to that level. I message Carter and ask for a gram. I don't actually do coke, I just have to see if he's in this gang and if he is I need to get my children out of there. Our conversation looks like this.

@fool_me_twice___🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈: do you have a gram on hand?

@carter.is.king👑👑 who are you?

@fool_me_twice___🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈: just a girl. Ashleigh's the name.

@carter.is.king👑👑: where from?

@fool_me_twice___🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈: manhattan man

@carter.is.king👑👑: alright bro, meet me uptown. 2pm. At Ginny's.

@fool_me_twice___🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈: 💵?

@carter.is.king👑👑: $40

@fool_me_twice___🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈: thanks.

@carter.is.king👑👑: np, homes.

             Looking at the clock, I notice it's already 1. At this time of the day it'll be hell trying to get up there, so I better leave now. I kiss a picture of Jules and pray to good that one day I'll get to have one of Eliott. 11 years, I've been in love with this woman and now I'm moving mountains trying to get her back.

..........

                I finally arrive at Ginny's to see Carter sitting. I sit down, and instantly he starts telling me his whole life story. Why? I have no clue. I find that Carter is in Deonté's gang. He has been in debt to him since he turned 15. He started dating Maria because Deonté told him. Deonté wants to hurt me. Carter doesn't love Maria as much as everyone thinks. He has love her of course because that's the mother of his children, but he doesn't want to marry her, but he felt obligated to so he proposed.

"So why can't you just leave?"

"She's pregnant."

"Oh."

"Sorry to put this all on you, but she goes on all the time about this Astrid girl she left."

"Did she ever tell you why she left her?"

"She just said she couldn't be with her."

"Oh, really!? That seems pretty strange."

"Yeah, but whatever. Do you want the gram now?"

"Um, sorry. No thanks. I forgot my money. Sorry to have you come all this way." I begin to stand up and walk away.

"It's no problem." He grabs my arm. "It's no problem at all. Astrid."

"What did you say?"

"Astrid."

"My name is Ashleigh."

"Astrid. Astrid Braddock. That is your name." He pulls up a picture on his phone. It's me and Maria at the beach after I proposed.

"How did you know?"

"That's not important. What is important is that, you're NOT going to tell Maria."

"B-"

"If you know what's good for you, you won't say anything."

"You can threaten me all you want. You don't scare me."

"But I could scare your children."

"You leave them out of this. They're innocent."

"They will be left alone as long as you say nothing."

"Ok fine."

"Good Astrid." He reaches to touch my shoulder and I duck.

"Don't touch me." He grips my wrist pulling me to him, so close I can feel his heartbeat

"Maria doesn't want you. She wants me. Get over it." He lets me go, pushing me away in the process. I stumble over some tables and run to the subway. Sitting in the stairwell, I ball my eyes out. He's right, she doesn't want me anymore.