Overcoming The Odds [MxM]

Chapter 8: No Matter

Raider

My cheeks burned with a feirce blush as I ran up ahead of him. What the hell was that? He licked my face. It wasn't just the fact that he licked me, it was . . . weird. His tongue send tingles shooting through my cheek, I could still feel them even as I put distance between us. The sparkles weren't painful, infact they made me want to rub my whole body against him and that scared the living shit out of me. I can't grow attached, it's a rule I've made a long time ago; because as a rogue things didn't end well, and if you got attached you were bound to feel a world of pain later.

When I got to the house I shifted back and looked to find Garrett at the forest line. He wolf was huge, with a gorgeous coat. It was a dark brown coat, but it had a few spots where the fur looked almost golden. And when he got closer his eyes had me mesmerized, like his coat they were brown with flakes of gold. Looking into his eyes overwhelmed me with a feeling of tranquility, and I couldn't find the power in myself to look away. But he shifted back and like that the spell was broken.

That was weird. Shaking my head to rid myself of the feeling, I followed him into the house. "Did you not find any prey or do you just prefer berries?" He asked, with that heart stopping smile of his. "I don't like having to kill." I replied. I hated it. The way the animal's blood would pour from its twitching body, the way the life faded from its eyes- it was horrible. "But you're a rogue, surely you had to kill." As soon as the words left his mouth he flinched, while my body stiffened. "Yes, and I regretted it every time."

Garrett

"Smooth moves Casanova." Came Cereberus' witty remark. I shut him out, I already felt bad, I didn't need him adding to it. The words slipped out before I could stop them, it just came as a shock to me that he would hate killing. Even normal werewolves took joy in the hunt, the rush of adrenaline that came with it. But Raider looks like he's going to be sick just from the thought alone. He's different from all the other rogues I've encountered, hell, from all the other wolves. There's something . . . innocent about him. Which simply amazes me; he's endured the pains of this world but still has an almost childlike innocence about him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, I just want to get to know you more."

"It's alright, you didn't mean anything by it." He said softly, but I could still see the hurt in his eyes. I've heard far worse. The thought made my eyebrows furrow, it wasn't mine, and it wasn't Cereberus'. It couldn't have been Raider's thoughts, it's impossible. The only time you can hear someone's thoughts is through the pack link or the mating bond, and Raider and I haven't mated yet. I must just be hearing things. After a moment of silence he says, "What do you want to know?" Cereberus wags his tail happily while I smile.

"Everything." His eyes widen slightly with that deer caught in the headlights expression. "O-Okay." He agreed with a shrug, and now it's my turn to be shocked. I couldn't be more excited by his answer, so excited I grabbed his hand and eagerly led him into the living room. "There's not th-that much to k-k-know about me." He stuttered, making me smile. Raider got this adorable, embarassed expression on his face when he stuttered. "I spent years walking the woods alone un-until I ran into Alpha Warren and his pack. Then I-I joined his pack, up until today, when you found me."

"Why were you alone? Where were your parents?"

He looked away quickly, but before he did I saw his eyes darken with pain, as he began wringing his hands. "I don't know what happened to them, I never met them. I was alone from the very beginning." I looked at him in disbelief, while Cereberus growled in anger. "They just left him?" He growled lowly. How the hell could his parents do that to him? That's like leaving a poor little puppy in the middle of nowhere to starve; and that's how they treated him too, an unwanted mutt.

A soft whimper tore me from my thoughts, I quickly looked up at Raider and felt my heart clench. His grey eyes were glazed over with tears, giving them a molten silver look, and his face was twisted in pain. Shit. "Raider. . . it's alright." I tried, but to be honest, it was far from the truth. He buried his face in his hands as the tears spilled over, and started to rock himself back and forth gently. I moved closer to Raider and hesitantly wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and when he didn't panic, I put the other around him. " Sh sh sh, Raider, it's going to be okay." I whispered gently.

Raider

They just left me in the woods to die. "You don't know that Raider, there could be a logical explanation." Robin offered, but I knew he was only saying that to comfort me. Of course they left me, they saw I was doomed to be a weak omega and they took their chance to get rid of me. Garrett had wrapped his arms around me, but surprisingly it didn't make me panic, it comforted me. It was hard to describe the feeling exactly, but having his arms around me had me feeling like nothing in the world could harm me- and a little like home.

Well, I never had a home, but what I imagine a home would feel like. But no matter how good it felt, how safe he made me feel, the pain was still there, and I knew what I had to do. "I think I need a little alone time, would it be alright if I went down to the creek for a while?" I asked from my spot tucked under his chin. He didn't answer for a while, and for a moment I thought he would say no, but surprisingly he said, "Alright, just come back before sunset or I'll be worried."

"I promise." I replied, pulling myself from his grasp, reluctantly. As soon as my feet started to move everything became one big blur. It felt like everything happening before my eyes wasn't real, but a movie playing before me. My body moved on autopilot, bringing me closer and closer to the creek me and Garrett were near earlier. I went through the field, the forest, and passed the rasberry bushes I stripped bare earlier.

The corner of my lips pulled up slightly in a sad smile when I reached the creek. Shuffling over to a nearby tree I leaned against it, then slowly sunk down to the forest floor. Before me was a beautiful sight; trees stood tall and proud near the large creek, and painted the landscape with the many colors of their leaves. A shaking in the bushes across the water grabbed my attention. My body tensed as paranoia took ahold, Alpha Warren. I jumped slightly as something jumped from the bushes, then sighed in relief.

It was only a deer. She stood there, without fear, even though a mere few yards divided us. I guess it was animal instinct, all animals can sense if another creature is dangerous or not, and the only thing I'm a danger to is myself.

Reaching into my back pocket, my hand clutched the cool handle of my switchblade. The sun glistened off the blade, making a chill go down my spine. Nobody cares about you. You're pack wants you dead, you're own parents wanted you dead. You're worthless. I whimpered as I tugged my pantleg up to reveal my partially scarred leg. I put the blade against my flesh, and started to cut. Every nasty word and every pain filled day made me press harder and harder on the knife until the cuts were starting to get dangerously deep.

Useless.

Cut.

Worthless.

Cut.

Unerwünschte.

Cut.

When I was done my hands shook so bad that I dropped my knife, and blood stained every inch of skin on my leg. Infact everything was blood red, oh, it was only the sunset. Oh shit! I needed to get back to Garrett, quick. I grabbed the switchblade and put it away before shifting, and quickly running into the woods.