The Outsider of the Summerset Isles

Chapter 15

He didn't know how much time he had spent in this miserable place. The world around him was colorless, soundless, and it seemed that no single living thing was there, but him. Was he even alive? What was even worse — he couldn't remember anything; how he got in this place, or who he was; he couldn't recall even his own name. There was a name, he was certain of that, but it slipped off his mind all the time he tried to focus on it. And he didn't belong to this place — he was certain of that, too.

The ground under his feet was ashes, and there was no sky above. The only light that was there came from nowhere as if the air was glowing by itself. Air... He realized he didn't breathe. He looked at his hand and it seemed solid, but there were no traces from his feet in the ashes.

"Have I died?" he muttered and heard his own voice quite clearly. He continued walking somewhere, heading to what seemed the horizon in the distance. Everything around was the same — plain ash ground and dark nothing instead of the sky. He didn't feel any tiredness, although he thought he spent ages walking. After a while, his memories started to come back, but all of them were messy and incomplete. There was plenty of suffering and blood in those memories.

"I probably got killed," he came into conclusion and didn't feel any remorse about that. In fact, he didn't feel anything being in this place.

"Why keep walking then?"

He turned around but couldn't see anyone. The voice had sounded clear, as if someone was speaking right next to him.

"And now I'm going crazy," he said to himself and went on moving. He walked for a long time, hours maybe, but the landscape remained the same. "There should be something," it seemed, the sound of his own voice made him feel alive, so he kept thinking aloud. "I came from somewhere, I just need to remember where this was." He stopped and looked back. Nothing. He sat on the ground, hid his face in his hands and tried hard to concentrate on the memories, coming and leaving his mind so fast that he couldn't comprehend at least one of them.

"Try to stop thinking," the same voice made him jump on his feet, and again, the voice had no owner. He lay down on the ash ground and peered at the dark emptiness that was there instead of the sky. He imagined there was the sky — clear dark blue color with sparkling stars on it. He focused on this thought, and for just a split second, the dark void got replaced with the actual night sky, that he used to watch so many times. This was it! He used to watch starry sky quite often, lying in the high grass and listening to the night creatures. For a moment he even could smell the scent of the grass and feel the humid air. When he opened his eyes, the vision had gone. He lay in the ashes for some time more, trying to repeat the vision, but it wouldn't come back.

Eventually, he stood up, and this time, something was different. A vague figure appeared in the distance. It didn't move, but he knew it was real, so he ran towards it, terrified of the notion it would disappear if he wasn't fast enough. It didn't, and soon he could see it was a Khajiiti female. She turned over and faced him, "You did well, stranger. Did Nim-Jul send you after this one?"

"W-what? I— I don't remember. Can't recall anything."

"You did remember something, or you wouldn't be able to see this one."

"What are you?" A picture of another Khajiit came onto his mind, and the next moment he found himself in a dark dump place that looked like a prison cell. Memories rushed upon him like a waterfall, and the reality around him started to transform rapidly, reflecting the events of his life. Only one thing remained stable—the female Khajiit who stood before him.

"Who are you?" He asked again. "Am I dead?"

The cat chuckled, "No, not yet."

"Why do I keep seeing all of this then?"