In silence I will stand

in spite of

in spite of it all

in spite of all the times I said I would stop writing

in spite of all of the times

I just wanted to stand up

and fucking yell

like 

I have never yelled before

"WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME?"

Its not that I am looking for attention

and

surely

I don't give a fuck about

hot lists 

and 

rankings

and popularity

its simply that

I miss you

I miss waking in the morning

and

checking my notifications

smiling

as I answer each and every one

and

I did

answer each and every fucking one of them

no matter

how long it took

I miss

the conversations

and

the inspiration

that we gave

each other

you all know who you are ...

owain

seas

knight

gail

rose

remember

the Core

remember

we all started the same time

and 

we all supported each other

and 

pushed each other

to be the best we could

I guess you don't

i feel sometimes like a boat

adrift

on a sea

alone

in spite of all of that

in spite of the sadness

there are 

still smiles

the past may have moved on

but

the now

they inspire me to keep writing

bella

alice

pizzarobot

queen

jeshi

liabe

lyttlejoe

ashley

simon

angel

annie

charolette

andrew

crazy

kae

sonakshi

rue

rona

gaza

and the list goes on

you have become my new

inspiration

my reason to move on

I love to write

and

I write for me first

but 

I also

write for you

and

in spite of all that I may say

I will continue

'till my dying day

Oct 2, 2016