To mother

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I hate you mother
For destroying my dreams
I hate you, and I'm not afraid of saying it
I hate you because I can't hate you and i have no right to hate you.
But i hate you, for being the built bridge in my running water
For reminding me over and over, that I'm not going any further.
For teaching me how to breathe as a living person but not to exist as a living creature.
I hate you for making this pain go deeper.
In a blocked toxic world i wanted to bloom taller but you were the first to cut my leaves shorter.
I hate you and I can't
Because I can't blame you
You were taught the same things you tried to teach me.
You had your mind all black so you decided to paint mine the same color.
If you only knew i was already growing darker, but you didn't even care and you pushed me over the edge till i fell exactly where you wanted
I drowned in your black river, and i never had a branch to hold me up.
So that's why i hate you mother
Not because I can't hate you and i have no right to.
Because you wanted my life to be as dark as the bridge you built
Inside my running river.

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