"Youngjae?" The therapist brings me back to the present. "Youngjae, you've been doing so well so far. Don't space out now." He crosses his legs and dribbles on the clipboard. "Let's start from the beginning."
I nod, clearing my throat. "Mark tells me that-"
"Stop." My eyebrow raises at his intrusion. "I want you to tell me what you remember."
"But it's wro-"
"What you remember." He holds his hand up for emphasis.
Inhaling deeply, I start. "Jaebum and I weren't close at first... He hung around a lot and then we started talking, we ended up dating." A tear slips it's threshold. "We dated for a while, helping Mark and Jinyoung get together." He nods, scribbling some more. "T-then..." My breath falters, becoming shaky. "Mark and I were hanging out when he told me to wait by a-a bush... After a while of waiting, I crossed the road, almost getting hit by a car. J-Jaebum. H-he..." My tears consume me again, my arms find a couch pillow nearby, hugging it in tight to my chest.
"Continue."
Only his general figure is visible to me as the tears were making everything blurry. "Continue what? He got hit by a car! I fell! I couldn't stop anything from happening!" At this point I was siting up, screaming at him. "Is that what you wanted to hear? How I could do nothing to help him like he helped me? Or did you wanna hear how I couldn't even hold him in my arms while I called for an ambulance because I wasn't conscious?!?"
He doesn't flinch, or move in any way to indicate that he was affected by this. "I think we're done here for today Mr. Choi. I'll see you next Thursday." He gathers his things, leaving me in the empty room to think about what I've done. I sink further into my wheelchair, feeling relieved but burdened as well. What the hell do I do now?
•ㅅ•
"Hey honey, how was-"
"I don't want to talk about it." My mom rolls me into the room and helps me onto the bed. After she leaves I lie on the bed, enveloped in silence. The memories of today flash for a second, causing my face to heat up with newly formed tears. I hate crying.
I hate when you cry.
My heart beats fast as I get up looking around. I could've sworn I heard...
"Youngjae?" My mom knocks lightly on the door. "I'm going to make some food now... We'll eat in a bit..." I don't answer, hearing her footsteps walk away after a minute.
I miss him.
Sleep weighs heavy on my eyelids, causing me to drift off to dreamland. As the last bits of consciousness fade away, a warmth spread across my back, a familiar shelter surrounding me.
I miss you too...
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*heavy breathing* Who's an army?
I haven't updated in a while. School sucks. GOT7 AND BTS GOT ME CRAZY. I can't stop listening to Prove It. 💕💕💕
