anonymous. [EDITING]

»21«

ALEX

I took a deep breath and brought my knuckles to the door before me, knocking twice for 'good luck'.   What? That's how my dad used to do it. Don't judge us.

Lydia opened up on my third round of double knocks, turning around and walking back to her room without a word said. I could tell she was in a bad mood. I wanted to ask her why, but I knew it wouldn't be a good idea.

Because I knew why.

I shut the door behind me slowly and carefully, my eyes wandering around the room.

I hadn't been here in years, yet I remembered it all so well. The smell of the sweet candles burning on the small table in the living room, the feeling of the soft, velvet couch at my fingertips as I ran my hand along it. The sight of Lydia in front of me, her strawberry-blonde curls bouncing adorably behind her as she walked.

Something snapped me back, the emotions hitting me hard like a speeding train at my heart. What the hell...

It was although we were children again and with just a flash of the sun through the window blinding me for a moment, we were. I was transported back to another time left behind in the past. Instead I saw a little girl in front of me, running to her room, her curls bouncing and waving as she ran from the little boy chasing her. Instead I heard boyish laughter as they ran, him lunging out to tickle her but missing by much too far. She dashed away into the bedroom and jumped onto the bed, the little boy following suit and collapsing beside her. The two lay breathless, staring into each other's eyes and smiling just the slightest bit.

I will time to leave them be, to let them stay together, happy, no troubles at mind...but I know that there's no stopping what must be.

There's no going back...

We were in her room sitting on her bed, my memory fading before my eyes and Lydia's confused look taking its place.

"What's the matter, Alexandra?" She whispered.

I hadn't noticed my eyes were watering.

I brought my hands up to my eyes and covered them, running them down my face to wipe away the looming memories. I couldn't forget that this was only for show.

Soon whatever this was would be over and Lydia would be the one with nostalgia.

This was all fake. I had to remember that.

Everything she and I once were...fake.
All of the feelings I remembered...lost.
None of this was real...and it never would be.

"Sorry." I mumbled, letting my hands fall back to my lap. She stared at me, her eyes full and daring. She wanted me to open up to her, and no matter how much I wanted to talk to someone about everything, I knew it could never be her.

Fake. I reminded myself.

"What's this really about?" She asked again in a whisper.

I looked up into her eyes slowly, my lips parting slightly as my eyes took her in. It was like I was thirteen again, seeing her for the first time and wondering just how she did it. How she looked like she did.

I blinked, shaking the thought away.

I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I know you didn't just come here to use the bathroom, Alexandra."

Oh, boy. Now I had to explain myself...

HOW IN THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO FO THAT?!

"Uhm, now that you mention it, the bathroom sounds like a pretty good idea." I stood from her bed and started for the door.

"Wait, answer me first...please."

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes in mock exasperation.

Then I pointed to my crotch.

"Uncontrollable bladder Lyds, remember?"

"Alex-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" One finger up, I waved it sassily.

Lydia huffed. "Whatever, go ahead."

I smiled to myself and walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.

I wondered if she saw what I was feeling or if she just figured it was one of my many moods wings...either way I knew that whatever I was feeling being here was NOT good.

Not good at all.

-

a.n: OML this sucks ass but I wanted a sweet chapter just to show that Alex isn't a total bitch. Anyway, new chapter coming soon, I'll probably edit this a bunch because I definitely did not get as much in as I would have liked to. ok byeeee!