I will try to update this next weekend, thanks again to everyone who has voted!
19th June 2005
Dear diary, tonight is Sophia's party and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm wearing a black dress with heels. I love them both. Cassie is coming to pick me up soon. I hope Kai goes to the party, I haven't seen him for a week.
Music blared through my ears as I walked through the door in Sophia's house. Loads of people where standing around, drinking, smoking and kissing. Typical, I thought.
"Do you think Kai will be here?" Cassie asks hopefully. Cassie doesn't actually speak to Kai when he approaches her. I've tried to get her to talk, but she just turns into a mouse. Kai knows that she gets nervous around him, so he teases her on purpose, it's horrible.
"Probably." Sophia is another girl obsessed with my best friend. In the corner of the room, I can make out Sophia's long blonde, perfect hair. A pair of arms are wrapped around her waist. I look to see who's arms they are. Cassie's brother was snogging Sophia.
"My eyes are burning." Cassie says, as she also spots her brother.
"Eugh." I say, disgusted. Sophia is a serious flirt. Why on earth would you want to snog Brian? He wears the same boxers for 4 days in a row- according to Cassie. I look a round Sophia's living room to see if I can spot Kai. Nothing. I go into the kitchen and there he is, downing a full pint of cheap beer. Kai never used to drink, he said it was pointless and only made you feel worse.
"Kai, you said you would never drink." I say, dissapointedly. We both made a promise that we would never drink until we were 18 and that our first ever drink would be together so that we could enjoy ourselves.
"I didn't say... never." He sways, nearly spilling the contents of his drink. I sigh, upset to see him like this. The way to get rid of your problems is not to drink them away, but to talk about it. Kai had gone into foster care, because his mum was proved un-able to create a suitable home for him. It's pretty sad. Kai used to be the centre of attention, the star of everyone's show. But he's depressed, well I would be.
"Let me take you home."
"Nah. I'm alright." He sure doesn't look it.
"Kai, you're a fifteen year old alcoholic. What would your mum say if she saw you like this?" I say worriedly. His mum would be so disappointed. She would probably be annoyed at me, if I don't do something to help.
"You. Don't. Un-der-stand." He looks scary now. Almost mad. As scary as he may look, I knew I had to try and help him. I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to him. Never.
I reach out and touch his hand consolingly, whilst saying:"Kai, I understand more than anyone. I'm your best friend. I lov-" The sound of deep, mocking laughter fills my ears, as I turn to see a chunky, older boy laughing at my words. "Something funny?" I knew this boy was too much for me to take on. He couldn't have been fifteen. Sixteen or seventeen, maybe. The chunky boy puts his arm around Kai and leers at me.
The chunky boy leans in closer, closing the distance between us. His breath smells of an awful mixture of beer and cigarettes."Kai doesn't want you. Do you Kai m'boy?" Kai stumbles over to me, looking grim and shoots daggers through my heart:
"Kate. Go home." He gently pushes my backwards and turns away, to pour another drink. His words hit me like a bitter, icy wind. I take in a sharp breath to stop myself from hysterically crying. My eyes prickle and I feel the sudden urge to run for my life, to run from this icy, bitter wind. Meanwhile, the chunky boy laughs cold-heartedly at my misfourtune.
"Yeah Kate, Go Home!" The chunky boy laughs, calling all of his other older friends to join in. Knowing that I'd be leaving here with a broken heart, I gathered my pride and turned towards the door. Without looking at Kai or the chunky boy, I say: "It's Katy." Trying not to cry, I quickly dodge the crowds of people and I spot Cassie laughing and talking. I run over to her and grab her hand, giving her a distressed look. She nods understandingly and we quickly vacate the party. Luckily the music was so loud, otherwise the party-goers would have heard me crying my heart out in the porch. My heart was torn apart. But did he mean it, or did he say those things because he didn't want anybody to hurt me? Everything is so confusing. I was stupid to think that Kai would just leave the party. He's not like he used to be. It's proof that everything can change in a space of a year.
Kai will never love me, I thought. Cassie grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug. She tells me everything will be ok. I didn't have to tell Cassie what happened, she just knew.
