Better Left Unsaid-A Kian Lawley Fanfiction

Chapter 2- Party-Prepping

We both turn our attention to the window, of which Kian had just jumped through (without giving a warning knock). My heart begins racing.

Why didn't he knock? What had he heard?

"Hey guys what's up?" he asks, flashing us an innocent smile.

"Just can't wait for tonight. We were just talking about it," I cover quickly.

Connor nods and smiles awkwardly in agreement.

"What's tonight again?" Kian asks.

"The party...at your house," I remind him.

"Oh shit! I totally forgot! Guys, I didn't set up for anything...will you help me?"

Connor and I exchange looks. Then we both say yes.

We all pile into my car; Kian in the drivers seat, me in the passengers, and Connor in the back.

"I think that some of the guys are gonna post some videos at the party on O2L," Connor says, trying to make small talk so the situation would get less awkward.

He knows I'd just had a heart attack because I just thought Kian found out.

"Cool," I mutter as I play with the radio stations.

Kian taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song I choose.

We drive to the mall in silence the rest of the way. The less I talk, the less abnormal I will sound, so it is a good silence.

*Later that day*

Kian dropped Connor off at his apartment to change for the party later and we drove together to the O2L house alone.

He lives with Ricky, JC and Connor, but they aren't home upon our arrival.

Once we're in the kitchen, Kian hands me some paper plates and plastic cups to set up on the kitchen counter. We set out bowls for all the snacks we got, set up some vibey lights around the house, and hauled their big Bose speaker from the garage out by the pool.

"Alright. I think that's enough food," he says, after placing the final bowl onto the counter.

He mindlessly ran his fingers through his hair. I hold my breath, making sure not to watch for too long.

"What time does this thing start again?" He asks me.

I shrug and look to my hands in my lap. "When I found out, I was told seven-ish."

"Oh, good. We still got three hours. What do you want to do?"

"Well, I haven't eaten anything yet," I suggest.

"Alright. Lets go get some lunch."

He drives us to In n' Out Burger. We order and got a booth in the back.

"Thanks so much for helping me out. If you didn't remind me, I would've been screwed. You're the best."

"It's no problem. What are best friends for?" I smile.

He looks down and his expression suddenly becomes very serious. His eyebrows are furrowed, as if he was in deep thought, and he clears his throat as if he's about to say something important.

"I need to tell you something, Carrie. But I just don't know how to say it."

My heart beats relentless against my rib cage for the twentieth time today.

"Just say it Kian. I'm sure I can handle it."

I can't stop myself from smiling, grinning, glowing. My fingernails are digging into my palms.

"Well, I've been thinking--"

Just before his could spill his secret, they cashier calls out our number. He gets up like a gentleman to get our trays. When he returns, he acts as if nothing happened. We just eat our meals in silence. He finishes before me and throws out his trash before returning to the table. My anxiety is eating away at my appetite, so I follow suit and toss the rest of mine. We get back into the car and I finally break the ice.

"Kian, what were you gonna say? Back in there, you sounded like you were about to spill something really serious..."

"Huh?" He really couldn't remember? It seemed so important twenty minutes ago.

"You said you needed to tell me something important..." 

"Oh yeah," He nods. I'm biting my nails.

He stares off at the road and bites his bottom lip. Oh those lips...

"I...I wanted to tell you that uh," he laughs at himself and shakes his head. "I wanted to tell you that I think I'm going to tell Andrea that I love her."

Oh...Andrea...love.

"Why are you telling me this?" It comes out a tad harsher than I'd meant.

"Well, you're my best friend and I don't know how to tell her, so I was hoping you'd help me... I've never done this before. Like, I've texted her it, but it's not the same. I was wondering if you could give me advice or something."

This is a rare side of Kian. A softer side that barely ever came out unless he really cared about someone. "Sorry, but I can't really help you there. I don't have a very good track record with guys. Or love. Or relationships."

Kian wasn't the only boy that I've actually loved. I dated this guy--Michael-- for the last three years of high school. I was in love with him, and I don't fall in love that easy. But Michael and Kian...they're different. Most guys our age have little-to-no respect for girls. They do though. They both are true gentlemen. I want a guy to show that they actually care about me, show that have respect for me, and well, themselves. I rarely find love and when I do, I fall hard.

I hear Kian sigh aloud and I am pulled away from my thoughts.

"Well, you can at least try to help. Right?" He glances at me anxiously.

He is really freaking out about this. I crack a smile to myself, enjoying seeing him so smitten. I just wish it was over me...

But I'm not helping the guy I love tell his girlfriend he loves her.

"Look, Kian...if you don't know how to do it, maybe you're not ready to tell her."

"Come on. Please? I really like her. I think she might be 'the one'," he says, immediately cringing after realizing he sounds really corny.

I clench my teeth and look out the window, so he can't see my expression.

"Do whatever you want, Kian."

I sounded like a complete bitch.

"Alright whatever. Sorry for expecting help from my best friend."

I hurt him, and it hurt me to know that. But he is hurting me too.

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Sorry this chapter was so long, I wanted a lot to be in it. Chp. 3 coming tomorrow!

I think I'll do one chapter everyday, depending on how busy I am.

Bye!😚