The Breakup Girl

Chapter Eight

Why was I sitting in my room crying? Why was I hugged up in a little ball listening to depressing music? And what good was it stalking Brandon's profile?

I couldn't stop myself from thinking of the months before. They were perfect, and look at what happened. The thing was, everyone thought I was over him. Everyone forgot about it. They all were too busy with their own boyfriends. I used to talk about it a lot, but after a bunch of girls once told me that no one cared, I stopped.

Even Claire, Sam, and Ashley wouldn't listen. I didn't want to test my luck. I didn't bother them at all.

I just wanted someone to listen.

Time heals wounds, but I had a feeling that this was a wound that wouldn't go away. Didn't anyone realize that this wasn't just some stupid, little crush on a stupid, immature high school boy? Did no one realize that I never had a boyfriend before, or even socialized with the male sex in any possible way? I was never boy crazy. They just didn't know the feeling of not ever being good enough.

The truth is, Eric's party couldn't have been more perfect. No, Todd and I did not make much progress really, but just getting to talk to him the whole night filled me with a warm feeling I hadn't felt in a while.

Except when I met Brandon's gaze, I saw the boy who used to sit next to me in literacy class. I saw the boy who hid behind thick, black glasses and had dark Bieber hair. I saw the boy who I used to think nothing of at first. Time changes everything, doesn't it?

I was crying in my room at 1:30 AM after coming home from the party. I didn't like seeing Brandon with Jayden, especially how close and into each other they were. Jayden still might have been going out with some other kid, but that didn't stop her from drooling over Brandon.

Why did I always think about him? Why couldn't I just be happy and look at what I had in front of me? I had Todd. Then again, I thought I had Brandon, too, but he woke up one day and decided he didn't like me anymore. The truth was that I was lying to myself. I was afraid of trusting anyone, because I always got hurt in the end.

Todd texted me that night, but I never answered.