starbound - scomiche

006. genetics

☆

He was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, he bit off a whole lot fucking more than he could chew.

He had a pounding headache, and the deep set ache in his bones made it impossible to get comfortable. All he could even focus on was how marred his brain felt right now, like Scott's commanding voice left real injuries that could only heal with time. He assaulted Mitch's mind without any kind of permission, and he felt sick with himself, because he didn't know if it felt good or not. The itch in his brain said yes, it felt great, his powers said hell yes, and every survival instinct and ounce of his stupid worthless brain said absolutely not, run away, go back home and pretend none of this ever happened. 

He was at a literal war with himself.

Kirstin was puttering around the ship, looking for something, and she hummed contentedly when she found it behind the single table on the side of the ship. In her hands was a threadbare blanket, and she smiled sadly at Mitch as she very carefully tucked it around his shoulders. He smiled at her thankfully, but it was quickly wiped off his face by the memories of purple and red, come closer, purple and red, run away.

"Scott's powers are... extraordinary," she said simply, sitting next to Mitch so gently that he was sure she knew all about the war raging inside his head. "He's had over a hundred cycles to hone his skills, to practice with unbridled rage and no boundaries." His breath caught in his throat, and her vibrant green eyes were so serious that he didn't dare look away. "He's everything we are, everything we aren't, everything we could be, and more."

He nodded and took a deep breath to chase away the sudden tightness in his chest. They wanted him to fight that? A seemingly immortal alien that's had, what... 320 years to practice his skills, while Mitch knew practically nothing about his powers? It seemed impossible now, and he realized now more than ever that he was most certainly not ready for his destiny.

You can't escape fate forever.

He shivered. Fate? What the hell even was his fate? He knew it belonged with Kirstin and his new friends in the rebellion, but Scott seemed to think otherwise. And so did his powers.

He wanted to roll his eyes at himself. Great. He already wasn't ready to take on this daunting task, but now he had to deal with whatever weird magnetizing pull he felt whenever the Commander was near, too. His skin crawled at the idea that it felt good to be near his greatest enemy, and he wished now more than ever that he could stop being so helpless against his powers.

"It's like... I was there," he said distantly, narrowing his eyes and recalling the sickening feeling when his powers completely betrayed him. "In the ship. I could feel him, hear what he was hearing..."

She blinked those elegant lashes at him a few times, and he found himself transfixed with her beauty again. "It was just your powers," she said soothingly, and he found himself wanting to nod along for some reason. "Once they find someone new with powers to latch on to, you feel a connection. That's it."

He furrowed his eyebrows as he scanned her face, and he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably again. He's only been around Kirstin for what was probably less than a day, and she already forgot their first meeting? How disappointing -- it was pretty memorable to him, but apparently she thought he was stupid enough to forget it. "That's not true," he said simply, frowning sadly as he scanned her face. "If that were true, then I would've felt it when I met you."