COURTING DEATH

Chapter 23

The buzz of the florescent desk lamp fills the empty silence of my room, insulating and isolating me from all other sound except for the muffled mutterings of the TV in the other room. Dad managed to avoid staying late at work again and he and mom are currently cuddled on the couch. Those two have been getting all lovey-dovey lately. Recently, mom even joked about the possibility of providing me with a brother or sister. At her age, it's not the sort of thing one should be joking about.

A textbook lies on my desk, bathed in a cold blue light that fails to offer even the tiniest bit of warmth. The book is for my class on classical Japanese literature. I'm sure Shizuku would have an interesting and unique opinion on the subject. I look up at the ceiling. For some reason, I'm anticipating the familiar ripping sound of a hole being torn through the barrier separating this world from Yomi.

My desk lamp buzzes uselessly.

Nothing.

"How did you know she needed you?"

I never found the words to explain. How could I? Me and a shinigami? Who could explain our strange association? There's no way she would have believed me. No one would have. In her place, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have.

She had clung to me so desperately, her hand so warm and soft... The sensation had been startling.

I think I knew it had been her from the start—even before I heard the subterranean voice. Something told me she needed me, or perhaps I had only wanted it to be that way.

She had been a person once. Someday, she might be again. The change had begun when she started to remember her past.

Who was she?

I open my laptop and wake it from its sleep. There's no way I can study tonight anyway.

Izu...Izo...or was it Isa...something?

I type the katakana for every variation I can think of. Nothing. My faint surge of hope fades. I stubbornly try random kanji knowing it will be useless.

I sigh. Guess she's not coming tonight. The buzzing light grows irritating. I might as well go to bed. Perhaps tomorrow I'll remember the name. Or, perhaps she will. I never got the chance to ask her about it. I hope she comes to class tomorrow. I shut the laptop, close the book and switch off the lamp.

"Do you have any idea of how I feel?"

What will I say to Kyoko? She seems determined to keep her word. After all, back in the classroom, she did make that public declaration of her trust in me no matter what. It may have allowed her to save face at the time. I wonder if she regrets it now.

* * *

"Ohayo Goszaimasu." I give the customary greeting to no one in particular as I enter the classroom. Shizuku is at her desk, leaning on an elbow, staring pensively out of the window. For her, the gesture is unnaturally natural. What could she possibly be thinking about?

"Ohayo, Michi-kun," Shimura says.

"Ohay—" I turn toward her.

Kyoko is sitting behind her watching me. "Ohayo."

"Ohayo." I suppress a twinge of guilt though I don't know why. It's not like I left her waiting by herself at the school's gate this morning. We had been meeting there and walking to homeroom together since we continued dating. Kyoko had wanted to make certain everyone knew that everything between us was good. Still, I didn't know what to expect when I next saw her today. "I missed you."