Vacation for One

The Big 4-0

The older you get, birthdays are never the end-all, be-all events that they were when you were younger. Especially if you wake up one day, almost forty years old, and have never been married or had any children of your own. You get to a point to where its just another day, and it doesn't mean the same as it once did. So is the case for Chasity Kelly. Even now, mere days before her fortieth birthday, she could not understand exactly where she went wrong in her life. She had a career in IT that she loved, family and friends that she adored and who adored her in return, but she still felt that something was missing. Chasity had had relationships throughout the years, but none of them ever amounted to anything permanent or long-term. Two years ago, she would not have felt that way. That was when she was dating her now ex-boyfriend Rashad. Chasity and Rashad had dated for four years, even going so far as moving in together. She went into that relationship when she was thirty-five thinking this is the one, though everyone around her, including her mother Janet Kelly, knew that wasn't the case. Apparently Chasity was the only one that didn't know that after four years of living with a man that slept in a separate bedroom, didn't have a job sixty percent of the time, and was in arrears in his child support payments, that one day she would come home from work to find all of Rashad's things gone and him along with them.

Somehow, she managed to move on, after a few flings here and there, and even remained friends with the man that destroyed not only her heart, but her self esteem too. Now two years after their break-up and days away from turning forty, Chasity decides its time to get back out there. So she booked herself a vacation for one in one of her most favorite places in the world, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 

Her sister, Tilda, who is nine years her senior, begged her to come to Northern Virginia and celebrate her birthday there, but Chasity adamantly refused saying she needed time to find herself again and rejuvenate her system. After making sure that her mother was safely tucked away with her own sister for the duration of her trip, Chasity hit the road for sunny Myrtle Beach. The first few days of her vacation were spent lazily relaxing in the resort's pool and spa, with occasional treks to the beach to sit out and watch the waves as they crashed into the shore. Chasity felt so at peace with herself and life in general as she gazed upon the the foaming white heads of the waves. 

Even though she found the peace of mind that she so desperately craved, Chasity couldn't help the occasional pangs of loneliness she felt, especially when she gazed upon the many couples walking hand in hand along the ocean's shore. Now that she was forty, Chasity felt all hope was lost of ever finding her own happily ever after. Not to mention the fact that Chasity didn't exactly have what could be described as a perfect beach body. All her life, Chasity has struggled with her weight, and the emotional issues that came along with it. She had been an overweight child, and later an overweight adolescent; morphing into an even more overweight adult, until she reached an alarming nearly five hundred pounds. Deciding to grab life by the horns, she made the difficult decision of having gastric by-pass surgery four years prior. The first couple of years were both good and bad, in that she lost an extreme amount of weight, but it also caused problems in her already problematic relationship with Rashad. But even after losing over two hundred pounds, Chasity still didn't have the body that she felt she needed in order to lead a truly happy life; a body that would attract a man, the right man, with which she could share the rest of her life. Not that she wasn't attractive. Because she is. Chasity was often complimented on her beautiful smile, her eyes, and how lovely her face was. But she never felt as if it were enough; that someone would take a look at her and say that's my future wife. 

She put up a brave front for all her friends and family, and she had them all convinced that she had the insurmountable self esteem that they all believed her to have. But no one, not even her mother Janet who lived with her, knew that nearly every night she drank herself to sleep with Vodka and cranberry juice, and that she often contemplated committing suicide because she was so unhappy. Somehow, given her beliefs and upbringing, she could not bring herself to end her own life, so she suffered in silence. 

But what Chasity didn't know, was that this trip would change the course of her life forever. And maybe, just maybe, she would finally get the happily ever after that she had been hoping and wishing for ever since she opened the pages of her very first romance novel when she was ten years old. 

A/N:

Chasity has some really serious issues with depression. Over the years she has gotten very good at hiding it, even from her own mother. I know what depression is and what it feels like. That deep, dark place that it can take you to, that seems impossible to climb out from.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. And Chasity will learn that  she is worthy of a happy life filled with love.

Until next update...

smooches,

msccool

sidenote: The trailer for the new Fifty Shades move is OUT!!! Feb 10, 2017 Fifty Shades Darker hits theaters everywhere!!! And I can't hardly wait!!!!