Today I get released from the hospital. I've been awake for three days and it worked out great because My Chem have to continue their tour. I haven't seen Patrick yet. I have no idea why he didn't come to see me. Maybe he doesn't care as much as I thought. I have to use crutches for a little bit while my knees finish healing. It took me two days to figure out how to walk with them but I've got the hang of it now. I sigh and wait while Mikey signs me out. Again. This scene seems very familiar. Alicia wraps an arm around my shoulders.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep." Mikey turns around.
"We can leave now." he grabs Alicia's hand and leads the way out of the hospital. The cab ride is silent. I stare out the window watching trees, cars, people and houses go by. Eventually we pull up beside the bus. Alicia and I get out and Mikey pays the cabbie. We walk onto the bus and are immediately met with warmth and the wonderful smell of hot coffee. Mikey and I look at each other.
"Coffee." we say in unison. We make our way to the kitchen and pour ourselves some coffee.
When I finish my coffee I rinse my mug and walk to my bunk. I pull the curtain back to reveal my bed for the next few months. Unexpectedly there's a gift wrapped package laying on my pillow. I pick it up. It's a lot heavier than expected. Judging by the weight and shape I'd say it's a book. I turn and look at Mikey.
"Is this from you?"
"Nope."
"Who left this on my bed then?" Mikey shrugs. I walk through the bus asking everyone if they gave it to me. I ask Ray and Gerard first, but it wasn't them. The next person I find is Frank.
"Hey Frankie?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you give this to me?" I ask holding up the gift. He's cheeks tint red.
"Yeah."
"Oh. Ok." I sit down next to him on the couch and start ripping the paper off. I set the unwrapped book on my lap. It's titled Breath Of Demons by Mark Rust. He wrote An Angel's Last Breath. It's the sequel. I've been waiting for months for this to come out.
"How did you know?" I ask.
"Well I was in a bookstore and they had a shelf of new release books. I recognized the name of the author and then I saw that it was the sequel to that book you had, so...." Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes, before Frank spoke up.
"Do you like it?"
"Like it? No." he gets a sad look on his face,"Frankie, I love it!" I wrap my arms around him. He's shocked at first, but then hugs me back.
"Thank you so much." I say as we break apart.
"Anytime, Shallan." I press a quick kiss to his cheek before standing and walking back to my bunk.
Frank's POV
She presses a kiss to me cheek before standing and walking back to her bunk. My cheeks flame red. I cover my face with my hands and groan in frustration.
"What's wrong?" Gerard asks.
"Nothing. Where's Ray?"
"In the back."
"Ok. Thanks." I stand and walk toward the back of the bus. Ray is playing video games.
"Ray can we talk?" I ask.
"Uh-huh." he replies, but doesn't pause the game or take his eyes of the screen.
"Can you pause the video game for a second?" he pauses it and turns to look at me.
"What's up?"
"I have a problem."
"What kind of problem?"
"A girl problem."
"Explain, please."
"ImayormaynothaveacrushonShallan." I say both quietly and fast.
"Slow down and try again."
"I may or may not have a crush on Shallan." I mumble. Ray clearly heard me because he sits there staring at me wide eyed.
"I don't know what to do." I tell him.
"Let me...uh...let me think for a minute." we sit in silence for a few minutes.
"What do you want to do about it?" he finally asks.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you want to move on from her or not?"
"Not really. I mean. I know that she's got a crush on Patrick and it probably won't work between us, but I still have some hope, you know?" he nods.
"Try just making some small gestures."
"Like what?"
"Take her for coffee. Write a note and leave it for her and you did just by her a book she wanted. that's a pretty good start. Start by being her friend. Earn her trust first."
"Ok. That's a good start. Thanks Ray."
"Anytime man. Good luck." I nod and stand up. Ray goes back to his video game and I make my way to the bunks. I knock on the wall next to Shallan's head.
"Hey Shallan?"
"Yeah?" she replies and pushes the curtain aside.
"Can I borrow a pencil and a sheet of paper?"
"Of course." she pulls a sheet of paper from one of her many notebooks and hands me a pencil.
"Thanks."
"Yup." she picks her book back up and continues her reading. I smile watching her get absorbed in her book. I sit down in my bunk and begin to write.
If you catch the train to nowhere
You'll find the strangest man I've met
Who claimed his ears were always ringing
With the sound of his regret
Back when time had not yet taught me
Regret was not a sound I knew
So I thought nothing more than silence
Was left by things you didn't do
He said he hoped the sound of nothing
Was the worst sound I ever heard
Because regret drives you as crazy
As the taste of swallowed words
"It's a stone thrown in the well" he mused
And this I've not forgotten
"It's listening all your life
And never hearing it hit the bottom."
Frank Iero
I sigh and flip the paper over.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm all alone
And so are you
The roses have bled
The violets aren't blue
I feel alone
I know you do too
The roses aren't dead
I fixed the violets with glue
I will get better
And so will you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm not alone
And neither are you
Frank Iero
I fold the paper in half and shove into my pillowcase with the other ones. Then I give Shallan's pencil back. I grab Doctor Sleep by Steven King and let myself get pulled into the book until it's time for lunch.
+++++
Dun dun dun! Frank likes Shallan. How do you think that's gonna work out? Well I hope you like it. And if you did comment and vote please! Thanks!
Savannah(-:
YOU ARE READING
Feel Alive(Adopted By Mikey Way)
FanfictionFirst: this starts during the end of the revenge era Second: Title credit: Feel by Sleeping With Sirens Third: Warning: There will be a lot of triggering things in this story. Have you ever felt like you're nothing more than an empty shell? Have you...
