Wall Street Poetry

Why You're Not Supposed to be a Millionaire

That all men are created equal
endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable Rights
that among these are Life, Liberty
and the Pursuit of Happiness
self-evident truths, it's solemnly declared
in our Declaration of independence.

Progressive tax steals from the rich
and gives some breadcrumbs to the poor
regressive tax steals from the poor
and gives it all to the rich
but it's absolutely the right thing to do
what would the poor with all that money do
but buying whiskey, cocaine and cigarettes
not to mention iPhones, guns and whorehouses.

In a zero-sum game environment
where all men are created equal
everybody is entitled to an even share
of global household wealth
let's assume, inclusive of stranded assets
we're talking about $241 Trillion
and 5 cents, lost in the rounding
divided among 7 billion people
that's $34, 428 per person
an hourly rate of $3.14
assuming 40-hour standard workweek.

$34, 428 is less than $1, 000, 000
hope you get the math, not too complicated
that is why, even under the most
progressivest of all fiscal regimes
blessed with the total absence of Robin Hood
and other red and black hat atheist communists
you are not supposed to be a millionaire
there simply isn't enough for all the men
in spite of being created equal.

Apart from the fact that economic ramification
of radical redistributions like this are deemed
to be absolutely catastrophic for the 1%
when the architects of our republic wrote
the magnificent words of the Constitution
and the Declaration of Independence
they were signing a promissory note
to which every man, even Reverend
Dr. Martin Luther King was to fall heir
this note was a promise that all men would
be guaranteed the unalienable rights
of a fair share in the world's stocks & bonds
It is obvious today that America has defaulted
on their Chase Manhattan promissory note
instead of honoring their sacred obligation
America has given the people a bad check
which has come back marked
"insufficient funds."

Life ain't fair, I'm sorry
was it first and foremost
ever supposed to swing like a Nash equilibrium
fairness in abundance can be found in
Disneyland, Hollywood, Fifth Ave, Beverly Hills
not in the humble flat, nearby the run-down bus station
where most fateful mortals, all created equal, live
better to get used to the inevitable
stop believing in MLK King's I have a dream
it's just a pipe, a daydream, at the very best a nightmare
let's get down to business.



Footnote - Credit where credit is due: this poem is based on, and inspired by the Second Paragraph of the Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1976), and Marten Luther King's I have a Dream Speech (August 28, 1963), neither piece have lost any of its relevance today.