Where do I begin? I've never written before, but now it seems like the right thing to do. He gave me this, this little pink typewriter. It was his grandmother's and he wanted me to have it, so how could I refuse? The answer is I couldn't, it's the s...
As I sit here and type this story, each paragraph brings a new light to my life. I'm reliving the past and all the happiness that came with it. All the decisions I should have made, and ones that I wish I could have changed. Maybe if I had stayed home with Lo that day my life wouldn't be so lonely now.
However, if I didn't go to Cocobean I would never had met Jacob and I would never have had the urge to apologize for my weird behavior. Things happen for a reason I guess, but I always wonder what could have been. Would they had broken up for good? Would I had still met Jacob? Would they still be here now?
I'll never know and that eats me alive every day.
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By the time I got out of bed, Lo already made breakfast and Danny was currently helping her clean up the mess. I pause before I make my presence known, I want to see if he has the guts to show his true colors in my apartment. Thankful for him he doesn't, he's acting as nice as can be, helping her wash the dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge, he kisses her here and there and that makes her smile. And in turn it makes me smile because I know that she is happy right now.
"Good morning you two" I say once I'm convinced he's on his best behavior
"Morning" they both say in unison
"Breakfast is in the fridge if you want some, I know you hate it so I didn't leave it out" Lo says, smiling at me
I giggle "yeah I'm not exactly the breakfast type, thanks though"
She nods and sits down at the kitchen table "how'd that errand go for Miss Mary?"
"I failed, horribly" I say laughing "she probably hates me now"
Danny looks at me and chuckles "no one could hate you"
I shake my head, not even wanting to look into what he said. I know he was probably trying to be nice because he knows Lo tells me everything and he thinks he needs to suck up to me, but there's also a part of me that was creeped out by his comment. So I decide to change the subject entirely.
"Beach today?" I ask Lo "I just got my last paycheck and I wanted to spend it on something fun like jet skies"
Lo looks at Danny before answering me and he nods in approval, making her squeal "I'll go get my bathing suit!"
Once she disappears up the stairs I stand up and walk over to Danny "she had to ask your permission to go to the beach with me?"
He sighs "we had plans for later, she didn't ask me for the horrid reasons your thinking, she asked because she didn't want to hurt my feelings"
Looking into his eyes I find no sign of deceit, so I chose to ignore my heart and believe him "okay then, I apologize. She's my little sister and I'm just trying to look out for her"
He smiles "it's not a problem, really"
"Will you be joining us?" I ask, silently praying that he says no.
"It's a lovely thought, but no I think I'll pass. I've got some work I need to catch up on anyway"
Thank you lord, oh gosh that would have been awkward if he had went. Plus now I get to get the scoop on what happened between them yesterday and find out if Lo is actually okay.
The drive to the beach was fun, filled with music and laughter, I think at one point Lo snorted and almost banged her head on the window. But I'd never tell her that I actually saw that. Now that we've arrived all I want to do is talk to her, my sister is more important than some stupid jet skies.
"Want to just sit for a minute?" I ask, pointing to a little deck off of a surfboard shop. She agrees and we sit down "are you going to tell me or am I going to have to beg?"
She shrugs "same old same old, I found him with another girl and we fought... He said he was sorry though and promised he'd never do it again"
"And how many times has he promised you that?"
She looks at me and whispers "a lot... This time will be different though, I know it will"
I roll my eyes without her seeing "how is this time any different, Lo?"
"...Because I'm pregnant"
Standing up abruptly, I yell "YOUR WHAT!?"
She nods and hangs her head low "He didn't know when I found him with the other girl, I told him while we were fighting... He was disgusted with himself and literally came over to the apartment begging for forgiveness, he got down on his knees Ana."
I scoff "I don't care if he stood outside your window with a radio on his shoulder, blasting a song about forgiveness. Lo you-"
She stand up and cuts off my sentence "What am I suppose to do?! I'm not getting rid of the baby and I can't leave him"
"Why can't you leave him, you know I'll help you raise the baby"
"I love him sissy... I've tried to leave him before and I can't, I can't"
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My sister cried after that, I held her in my arms and let her sob. I tried to sooth her but, in the situation she was in, being calm wasn't an option. In her eyes she was trapped, she had no way out. Of course I was her way out but she didn't see that. All she saw was the rest of her life going down the drain.
And I couldn't do anything to save her, because she wouldn't let me.
