glowing eyes

explanation+authors note

!!! THIS IS RLY IMPORTANT IF U WANNA UNDERSTAND THE STORY MORE AND NOTICE A LOT OF LIL THINGS U MAY HAVE MISSED !!!

first of all, i just want to point something out- i'm 99.9% sure that this is not an accurate depiction of a schizophrenic person. when i wrote this i did little to no research on the it. this is, most likely, a very... how to say this... cliche, exaggerated and hollywood-esque version of the disorder. i don't mean to portray people with this mental illness as murderous or dangerous, that's just how i wrote tyler in this story. there might be a very small minority of cases like this out there, but of course by no means is that all or most of them. 

second of all, some people are probably wondering- is this based off the forest fic? i actually got the idea before i read or heard of the forest fic. however, once i did read it, it solidified my ideas, little details- like the fact that josh is in the closet at the beginning- i honestly didn't realize they were like the forest fic until people commented about it. but now i realize that there are a bunch of little callbacks to the forest fic in a bunch of chapters and it sounds cooler if i say that i meant to do that, so yeah! this is a tribute to the forest fic! :) 

second, i want to say that i didn't necessarily want the ending to be this huge reveal. i knew to a lot (most) of people it would be really obvious and they would figure out the fact that josh was a hallucination within the first chapter or two. there were several obvious hints and pretty big giveaways throughout, so... but i still wanted it to be effective.

plus, everyone commented it and ruined it for anyone who might not have realized lmao. which is basically everyone so for future reference please don't do that on other people's fics. i love getting comments but it's a little disappointing seeing that it's someone just saying what the ending is.

see, even to tyler it wasn't a surprise, because he had known all along but had been in denial. it was more like a relief, a confirmation, and that's what i wanted it to be like for you.

anyway, why is it called glowing eyes? here are some references you may not have picked up. lyrics in italics, explanation in bold.

"we all are stranger creatures then when we first started out as kids, culture forbids"
josh wasn't there or a part of tyler's life when he was very young.

"we live for, the nights' decor, it reveals what we dream of"
tyler killed his parents and himself at night. that night revealed what tyler had been thinking and maybe even wanting to do for a while.

"i know there's someone at the door they call for help of this i'm sure"
josh entered through tyler's door instead of his window in the last chapter. he did this and asked tyler for help in doing what he wanted.

"but do i want to say goodbye to all the glowing eyes"
throughout the story tyler was trying so hard to hold onto josh and not let him slip away from his imagination. he didn't want to say goodbye to him, the only light in his life.

"i'm holding onto what i know, and what i know i must let go"
this is the line that really relates to the story. he'd known josh for a long time, he was an image that he'd created in his head and tyler had come to rely on him. he was the only friend he ever knew, so when he started to realize that josh wasn't real he didn't want to believe it. he realized very early in the story, when josh started changing and fading. only in the last chapter did he accept it and, essentially, let go.

"but i'll kindly enter in, two rooms of depression"
tylers' parents' room and his own room, the two rooms where deaths happened.

thank you so much for reading. i truly, really didn't expect anyone to read this. i just published so i'd have a place to write it, and now it has 10k views. like wow. thanks.