I'm Going to Be A Mom ... At 17?! (A Teen Pregnancy Story)

Chapter 6 - Am I Ready For This?

Hi everyone. Just a little filler chapter. ;)

I'm Going To Be A Mom ... At 17?! (A Teen Pregnancy Story)

Chapter 6 - Am I ready for this?

"No no no. She needs bigger size." The lady "tsk"d and went to find a different size. She came back a few minutes later, her arms filled with about 20 bras. "Okay, I get some 34C's. They fit you good."

My eyes popped open. "Uh... a C? Are you sure-"

"Yes, I sure. I work here," the lady said seriously in a thick European accent. "Here, try on black one."

She handed me a black bra and exited the changing room. I took off my current one and put it on, and Em fastened the back. I almost sighed in comfort. This was much better. I originally wore a 34B, but my breasts were swelling each day, because they were, well, filling with milk for when I was going to breastfeed. Everyday reality hit me a little harder - I really was going to be a mother.

"Yeah, this is much better. Wow, I'm a C. Holy cow," I told Em.

She shrugged. "I live with it every day. It's not that bad," she said with a laugh. "C'mon, try some more on."

So I picked out like 10 of them, and we paid and left the maternity store. We headed to the mall cafeteria to have lunch.

"Emily, thank you so much for sticking by me. I love you sooo much." I gave her a huge hug.

"No problem, babe. I love you too. Now let's go get some food before I starve to death."

So we were sitting at the caf, me eating some chow mein and Emily eating a cobb salad. We were both on our phones; I was listening to music and she was texting someone. All of a sudden she screamed, and clamped a hand over her mouth.

"What? What's the matter?" I said quickly. I noticed several people were staring at us and I tried to ignore them. "Em. What's going on?"

She had her fingers over her mouth, and she was frantically fanning herself with her pita bread. She was staring at her phone. I tried to grab it out of her hand, but she snatched it back. "Emily, what the hell?"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!" she squealed, looking at me with wide eyes. "Ben just admitted he liked me!" Her hands went limp and I caught her phone before it could smash on the floor.

Sure enough, there was a text from Ben Jamieson, telling her that he liked her. A lot. Oh my gosh, that was truly adorable.

"Awww. This is SO cute. You like him too right?" I asked, smiling, giving her back her phone.

She blushed profusely and took it back. She bit her lip and nodded shyly.

"Well tell him then!" I practically yelled.

"O-okay." She started texting with shaky fingers.

I turned back to my food and smiled off into the distance. That was so cute. She and Ben were adorable together; Ben was really sweet and I knew he would be a good boyfriend to Em.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw some blonde lady and her friend looking at us funny. I frowned.

"What?" I snapped.

They both turned away, blushing. Hmph. People these days.

"I told him," Emily said. She put her phone in her purse and waited, just sitting with her hands in her lap. "OhmygodJenwhatifheasksmeout?" she blurted.

I laughed. "Then you'll say yes in a heartbeat."

She put a hand on her cheek and smiled, lost in her daydreams of Ben. I took her hand and squeezed it. "He'll never be as good as you, Em, but for now, he's perfect."

She laughed. "You're right." She dug into her salad, still smiling insanely.

....................................................................................

I was in bed, holding a pregnancy book that Grandma had sent me from her home in Texas, but I wasn't reading it. I kept going over the same paragraph and trying to process it, but my mind was somewhere else.

Images flashed through my head: a 30-year-old mom pushing her pram through the park, chatting with her friend, who was also pushing a pram, both with their newborn babies; me, holding my newborn son or daughter in my arms, gazing at his or her beauty; changing a poopy diaper (I chuckled); watching my baby take his or her first step; giving them a big hug and kiss when they scraped their knee; all the stages of pregnancy and raising children flashed through my head.

Was I ready? Was I truly ready for all of this? Could I be a successful mother, even though I'd learned nothing mother-like, being raised by my dad?

Yes. I was ready for this. All of a sudden, I realized something; I'd wanted to be a mother all along. I wanted my own child to hold and comfort, and put to sleep while tucking the covers around them. I wanted to be that someone who they ran to when they had a nightmare. I wanted to be looked up to and be loved. I wanted a little bundle of joy of my own.

And I smiled. I could do this. It would be hard, being a single mother, but I had a loving family and two amazing friends. And maybe, in time, I'd find the right guy. And everything would be fine.

I took up my pregnancy book again, this time actually reading it.

Okay, Life. Give me your best shot.