T O X I C | ORIGINAL

14

I pushed the door open and I could hear Elliot's loud footsteps were coming from behind me. I quickly kicked off my heels and headed to the bathroom.

"We're not done yet, Chantel," He burst into the bathroom while I was stripping down from the earlier dress and changed into some more comfortable clothes.

"I just don't get it why you got so fucking mad," I pulled my hair into a bun. "Stop being an ass, Elliot," I shook my head and walked passed by him, leaving him behind in the bathroom.

"And you should stop being a bitch!" He yelled, loud enough to make me flinch away. "Yeah, you heard me," He walked closer to me.

"What did you call me again?" I narrowed my eyes, seriously taken aback by his harsh words. "Elliot, I don't know what is wrong with you but—"

"But what?" He walked even closer to me. "You literally talked shit behind my back!"

"I did not!" I yelled back and suddenly a stinging pain rushed all over my left cheek.

He hit me.

I gasped loudly as my head was being thrown to the side due to the harsh contact between his palm and my cheek. "Chanti," His voice was no longer dark and intimidating. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know," His voice was getting softer.

"You hit me," The realization hit me as well. Elliot actually hit me even when he was completely sober. I looked at him from between strays of hair that had fallen, still with my hand holding the hurting cheek. "You hit me," I said softly.

"Baby, I-I'm sorry," He kneeled down and tried to reach for my face but I flinched away. "No, no please, I won't hurt you,"

"You actually already did," I whispered then stood up, leaving the room.

***

I had read somewhere a long time ago, when a man had already laid a hand on you he would always play it by their hand. Which means, once a man hit you he will always hit you. At first, I didn't believe on that crappy relationship article, but turned out it was a sad reality in my life.

I'd always tolerated the way he treated me whenever he was drunk. Sure whatever, when he was drunk he wasn't completely himself. I had chosen to love him and I had chosen to rely on him, I should've been ready for all the flaws that he had and I should accepted those flaws.

But tonight, he truly revealed himself. From that moment on I realized, everything that I used to think of about him was only a lie. He didn't actually love me and he would possibly always hurt me whether if he was under the alcohol influence or not.

"Hey, I thought you're asleep," Claire walked into the kitchen where I was sitting alone on the dining table. It was almost midnight and I couldn't sleep with all the thoughts running wildly inside my head. I stole a brief glance at her and instantly looked away again. "So where were you? You didn't say goodbye to the other,"

"I was tired," I lied. I was so used to lying on people that I loved, only for the sake of the man that I truly adore.

"Uh-huh, sure you were," She remarked sarcastically. "Hey," She sat down across to me and took my hand, forcing me to look up at her. "I know you're not okay and I can say that you can't always be like this,"

"I don't understand what you're saying, Claire," I smiled lazily.

"Chanti, you are not happy. Please don't act that you are," I held back my tears as hard as I could. I hated cry in front of people. "And I know he's the reason why you're not happy," 

"That's where you're wrong," I pointed out, feeling a tear slip away from my defense, betraying my own will. "He makes me happy, Claire. Yes, he hurt me, I admit. He physically hurt me but I don't care. I love him,"

"Why do you love him so much? Chanti, you're beautiful, smart, there's plenty of other guys who would love you better; who would treat you better,"

"I need him," I spoke softly almost came out as a whisper.

"The question is why?"

"I don't know, okay?" I exclaimed.

"He's a fucking abuser! You're in a very abusive relationship—wait, a very unhealthy and abusive relationship," She swung her hands in the air in frustration. "I hate it to see that you're not happy," She burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," I shook my head. "But I can't leave him. I love him so much, Claire," I almost chocked by my own tears and words, "I need him," I said, filled with pure desperation.

"It's only a matter of time, Chanti," She stood up gently from the chair and leaving me alone with tears streamed down my face.