Silently Falling

Chapter Forty One (Edited 1/8/2022)

1/8/2022 - After this chapter, I'm thinking I will only have 1 more regular chapter and then an epilogue. Thank you all for sticking with me and the updates, I'm so glad you all think it was worth it! Oh, also, you're welcome in advance.

Thank you YumYumHarryStyles for the cover! Interesting username lol

Silently Falling: Chapter Forty One

My gaze cautiously moves from the documents to Libba. Her watery, regretful eyes are stuck to the folder as if too afraid to meet my stare. She looks scared. Somehow even smaller than before. Her laughter lines are nowhere to be seen, only the frown lines etched into her skin that I've not noticed before. 

The ashamed and lost in her eye sends something piercing through my heart. I know that look all too well. I used to see it every time I looked in the mirror. 

We know we're victims. We know we did nothing to deserve the sick and twisted acts of our attackers. We know that we are not to blame. But that knowledge does little to erase the disgust with ourselves, our bodies, our minds. It does little to banish the thoughts of being too weak to fend for ourselves. No matter how many people speak up to say how strong we are for surviving and still finding a way to smile, and no matter how long we've been healing, there will always be a small voice in the back of our minds threatening to remind us of the worst of it.

Without words, I step forward and throw my arms around Libba's petite frame. She's shocked at my reaction and it hurts to know she was probably anticipating hatred or backlash from me. After all, when West found out he presumably tore the house apart in anger, but I know West. I know he could never be angry with Libba for what happened to her. 

The look in his eye comes back to my mind and a shutter goes through my body. He may not be angry with Libba, but that just begs the question of what he is angry at. Then there's the question of the fear and guilt in his eyes... is he afraid of this man, William? 

"I am so sorry, Libba," I whisper.

"Thank you, Raine," she says, giving me one more squeeze before she pulls back. I sense with her deep breath that she's about to open up, so I make sure to remain quiet. 

"I was attacked right after I graduated high school. I was walking home late from my chef training. It was dark, cold. Too cold for my thin sweater to protect me from the chill. I had chosen to take a short-cut through the bad part of town to make it back home quicker. That decision changed my entire life. He attacked me from the shadows... I really never stood a fighting chance."

My heart pounds painfully against my chest and my breathing becomes too fast, but I push my own memories aside to let her continue. Her eyes get a far away look as she recalls her horrid memory and she quickly shakes her head to stop picturing him.

"Thankfully a cop was patrolling nearby. He didn't get there in time to stop it, but he got there in time to see a bloodied and bruised woman nearly passed out in an alley. He caught William fleeing around the corner and arrested him right there. I took him to court, but the trial date took so long to be set that before the trial even began I-I found out that I was pregnant."

Her voice has gone down to a whisper, chin quivering for a moment or two.

"My parents wanted me to get rid of the baby. They were disgusted by the thought of it and couldn't believe that I would even consider keeping it. To them, the baby was only a reminder of the heinous thing that happened to me and could be worth nothing more than evidence against William. But I-I didn't see it that way. I wanted to keep it. After William attacked me, I tried so hard to search for a reason. All I found were ones that blamed me. Then suddenly, when I discovered I was pregnant, I found a reason that helped me heal, not blame myself or live in unhealthy hatred of my attacker. The reason was to bring West into the world. It was like my light when I felt trapped in eternal darkness."