beneath the darkness ; s.m

15

three days.

three whole days since her disappearance. i was worried for her, but she had clark, i knew he'd take care of her. even though it should be me protecting her, i can't even guarantee her safety with me because of my blood thirst. we were on a so called "break", it felt like one, luckily. i was hoping that it wouldn't feel like an actual break up, i couldn't let her go.

over and over she was running through my mind, my castle has been empty. i made my servants go home for a while until bethany comes back, i needed to be alone. walking downstairs, i walked to my greenhouse, bethany loved nature. so i figured i'd buy her, her own little sanctuary to enjoy. sitting down in a sofa, another room that was away from all the plants, someone knocks.

who could possibly be at my place right now? i open my door.

"james."

i breath, he looked at me sad, hugging me tight. i hugged back, feeling myself being broken down little by little. i sit back on a sofa, james pulling up a chair in front of me.

"i heard about what happened with you and beth, i'm so sorry."

i nod my head.

"i feel like it's all my fault, james. i was so naive to think that bethany could be the answer to solving all my problems. i love her so much man, i can't believe i did that to her."

i rest my forehead on the palm of my hand.

"i know you do. we're all worried for you, shawn. it isn't your fault entirely, you were in a state of heartbreak. us vampires do reckless things when dealing with that type of thing, hell, humans too."

i chuckle, as does james. i sigh, lifting my head from my palm.

"i just miss her, james. i miss waking up to the sound of her voice echoing throughout my castle walls. or her small giggle she makes when i purposely mess something up. or the way she makes these scrunched up faces she thinks are hideous, but that i love so much. i miss everything about her, and hate that she's away from me.

i hate that i did what i did, even if i wasn't in control. maybe we weren't meant to be together in the first place."

i look out the window, pain written on my face.

"you're in love with her. if you truly love her, you wouldn't just give up so easily when things get hard."

"i almost killed her, james."

he shakes his head.

"i know that, but you knew deep down you could stop that from happening. even if you're in your blood thirsty savage mode, you can overcome that if it got to that point. you know i'm right."

james was right, my body fed off of her, but not mercilessly. not like the other girls. it knew that i had fallen for this specific human, and that i couldn't just drain her dry.

"she deserves so much better."

"there will always be someone better. but who she wants is you, and in my opinion, she doesn't deserve anyone but. she deserves you, shawn. i wish i could meet her, you seriously love this girl. brian does too."

i smile.

"she's amazing, you'd love her."

he smiles.