Why Ticking Bill Off Is A Bad Idea.

Chapter 9

Dipper had seen a lot of strange things in this world, but seeing Paz truly broke his heart. He spent most the afternoon looking for her throughout the town and once he found her he was shocked. He observed them standing in front of the mall. He spent enough time being dragged around by Mabel shopping to recognize designer cloths. Her hair and nails were done perfectly. The worst part was the several layers of makeup that hid her natural beauty. Two girls stood around her practically hanging onto her every word. Everything about her practically screamed ‘I am better than you.’ Only Mabel and himself could pull it off and most the time it was hidden by their stage faces. His kind, sweet, and generous  girlfriend was replaced by a spoiled brat, no the ringleader of spoiled brats.

Still, it was Pacifica. Pazzy and himself were as different as night and day, yet they were perfect for each other. He needed to at least give his other self and this Pacifica a chance. He could hopefully get the relationship started. She may look like a rich brat, but no girl could resist his charm. Even in this stupid twelve year old body.

When no one was looking he summoned one of his signature blue roses. It was the classic rose, but at the same time the  bright blue color gave off a exotic vive. It was also perfect with no faults in the petels or stem.  It looked expensive and foreign. He was sure that even spoiled, rich Pacifica would like it. The roses never failed to impress,  and even their richest guests loved them. Plus his Paz always adored them.

He looked down at his stupid outfit and for the millionth time he wished for his show outfit, especially the cape. Mabel made fun of him for wearing it all the time, but he could care less. He told her he kept it on to keep up appearances, but in reality he needed his cape.  It was as if the cape hid all of his imperfections behind his magician act. He the cape helped him felt safe; the only thing that made him feel safer was his amulet. The cape of his security blanket , although he would rather die then admit it. He ran his fingers his amulet a few times as he prepared his stage face.

Dipper put on his most dazzling smile and walked over. He pushed himself between the two girls and faced Pacifica. He could practically feel them sneering at him, but he ignored it.  He offered her the rose with a slight bow.

“For you My Lady”

She looked at him in complete shock and after a few seconds she took it with a slight blush. “Thanks….” She glanced at the other two “I mean I will accept it only because it is so gorgeous. Don’t get any idea’s though.”

He smiled. It was a good enough start.

For the rest of the afternoon he explored the town, wanting to get a good idea of his new hunting grounds.  He was very entertained by the all the opposites in this world. In fact the local heath nut, Suzan, was know  as Lazy Suzan and owned a dinner. The food there was not too terrible and  he was able to charm her into giving him a free meal. All it took was a compliment to her hideous eyeshadow.  It seems that the townspeople were as stupid as ever. It was actually really comforting knowing that some things never do change.
Eventually Dipper wondered back to the mystery shack. He passed his sister who was watching cartoons in the living room. She sat in the hideous yellow chair with her legs dangling off the side and her eyes were glued to the screen.  She held a open box of sugar. He smiled fondly at her.

“Is ….. Ford here yet?” he asked

“He is in the living room doing nerdy stuff.” She replied without taking her eyes off the screen. She lifted a spoon sugar and happily ate it.  “You would probably enjoy it.”

“Are you eating straight sugar?” He asked.

“Want some?” she asked.

Dipper grinned. She was just so adorable, but her eating habits were even worse than Pacifica. She was going to end up rotting her teeth. He made a mental note to check her teeth for cavities later. In the meantime, he should stop her before she gives herself a stomach ace.